Truth Seeking Spiritual Superiority

I'm more spiritual than you

The blind spot of intellectualizing yourself into a corner is that you probably know this deep down, but are so good at justifying it through “smart sounding” language that you convince yourself you must be right…because you’re so smart.

It’s natural along the process of awakening to find yourself inside the category of “truth seeker” or “conspiracy theorist,” usually (though not always) this includes spiritual truth seeking as well.

When pointing fingers at an outer “they” via an organization or group, what’s missing is the key component to what it means to be a truth seeker. It’s not just about what “they,” or anyone outside of you is doing, but in seeking truth with all of the conspiracies within yourself…herein lies the spiritual quest.

Where are you conspiring against yourself and what do you need to be doing, instead, for your highest evolution on your soul path? Are you self-sabotaging, people-pleasing or avoiding real life by claiming to be “so spiritual” you no longer need to participate in the human experience or have moved beyond that? Are you walking around mentally masturbating claiming yourself to be the “most” spiritual of all? Are you Lord of the Rings inside your mind but Gollum projecting out through gaslighting and passive aggressive communication?

Do you have a subconscious fear of right action…action that may be difficult to carry out because often doing what is right, is difficult. It’s easier to look at the truth of what others are doing, or focus on the truth that you don’t like in the world, instead of looking at it within yourself.

It’s only when are willing to turn the projection around where we can find staring back at us behaviors we don’t like, habits we know we need to change and don’t, times we’ve hurt ourselves and others we’d rather not face, and/or the parts of life where we aren’t living by our guiding values and principles.  Where are you projecting? Where are you connecting? What is the conjecture? What can be bridged in togetherness?

This is real self-love, to seek inside yourself instead of outsourcing everything to an intellectual analysis through a perception filter.

Can you conspire FOR yourself, for the Divine, for a greater purpose of being here in the individuated soul path AND in relation to others? Can you see the value in both?
The hard part is that in connecting with others it’s not about changing them, fixing them or getting them to come around to believing what you believe, but recognizing that it is in letting things be as they are while also striving towards being an example of what you want to see “out there.”

Do your beliefs encourage you to be a beacon guiding others back to their own inner knowing or a talking head that thinks you’re better than everyone else?

In truth seeking with regards to the “ways of the world,” it’s easier to spend so much time wrapped up in all the theories that are a never-ending black hole to nowhere. When this fizzles out and you start to see the spiritual battle is really what’s going on, it’s easy to turn that inner battlefield outwardly in distraction as a way to feel special and comforted.

To be in the world but not of it is not an invitation to abandon yourself and others, but to recognize the spiritual nature of being human and to make daily choices aligned with this wisdom.

Elitist language around being the most aware, awake, spiritual creeps in, including an attitude where a lack of gratitude overtakes the mind.  The irony is that this is actually aligned with the same way the “they” think… you know, nature is dreadful, some chakras are good and some evil, being human is something to overcome, and if you just ignore it or numb out the senses, then somehow once again you’ve become holier than everyone else and yet at the same time returned right back where you started.

Condescending tones met with passive aggressive jabs stem from another layer of cognitive dissonance playing out in the psyche. When someone with spiritual superiority is triggered, they often double down instead of stopping to assess the unease.

There is always a paradox and it’s not always good or bad. The paradox exists on each side. For example, what if a trait you deem good, that is useful to your well-being and an intrinsic part of who you are, is seen as bad by another or brings out a negative trait inside another prompting (or triggering) them to project onto you because they don’t want to see what is being reflected back?

This thought experiment can take many twists and turns.

Inside every paradox is another paradox, so as long as you run away from this higher truth that’s waiting to be uncovered through self-contemplation, real life experiences and watching consequences unfold from your own decisions, can you then come into a sense of realization and self-actualization that is the culmination of an integration of the inner and the outer alchemization (is that even a word? I can laugh at myself, but I’m leaving it).

This is real truth seeking. Not just in finger pointing or spiritual intellectualization, but a desire to just be YOU and give others the opportunity to be them in whatever experience they are meant to have.

Nature’s going to do its thing either way. We get to choose what we participate in and what we walk away from. As long as you think you have no choice and no power, which is really a form of running from responsibility,  you will always be looking for power through an escape hatch out of neverland, thinking the grass must be greener in another dimension and/or after you’re dead and gone…just torture yourself until then in a misery loves company via hatred of the physical temple…than recognize the most beautiful gift you’ve been given, the understanding that being human is spiritual.

Freedom is about Freeing the mind from the constraints holding it so tight.  Both the outside AND the inside truths must be sought or there is imbalance.

Where are limiting beliefs still keeping you angry or wounded? What unfairness have you encountered that has not been healed? What about your own life mirrors the conspiracy that has affected you the most and have you decided to let it continue to have that hold over you by always focusing on it or to take back your attention? What truth are you not yet seeing and are you able to recognize that everyone has blind spots…even ancient teachers we never met, but deem as holier or as having it more figured out? Even gurus we esteem and follow because we “think” they hold all the secrets and knowledge? They don’t and neither do you…knowledge is not the same as wisdom…and this is the beauty in knowing that in gnosis, in knowing what is true therein, there will, also, always be something that we could never possibly know fully, even if we were present for it because each moment encapsulates lifetimes, experiences, interpretations, nuance and a canvas only you can paint…. will you make it an original? What influence will you let seep in?

Nothing may be new under the sun, but the individual fingerprint we each hold is proof there is a unique expression that can only be yours.

If we know the masses walk the broad way, why do we so easily believe what is widely accepted as true from the past (in all genres of life from historical to spiritual to creative)?  How far out can we zoom and how far in can we narrow before we find center?

Balance is important inside the seasons where harmony flows. The yang force of doing rises up in spring and summer, then is met with its counterpart, yin, in winter, that is more introspective. This, not only plays out in the seasons of nature, but in the seasons of life.

Within all of this is learning our own true “nature,” but we must peel back layers that we don’t want to see.

Inside the truther community are sublayers of spiritual and philosophical frameworks, but the one thing that always seems to be missing is the mystery, being comfortable with unknowing.

Of course there are observable and knowable truths that once seen, can’t be unseen. Beyond that is nuance and subjectivity where so many become fixed or set on being so certain they know the way (spiritual ego) until they cease to remember that this is purely intellectual, a means of finding division rather than unity. The way lives inside the heart and as much as I love learning and books, that’s still an outer perspective that plants seeds beyond what my own mind, body, intuition, spirit, imagination and soul is revealing to me that is best for my path.

Be it truth of self or situational, it always sets you free, but you have to be willing to look at it for what it is, not what you want it to be, not what it was or wasn’t, not what it “might” be in the future, not what you tell yourself makes you right, and not as a justification.

This also plays into people pleasing. Are you hurting yourself and/or not having the experience, going after the desire or pursuing what lights you up by staying in situations or keeping people around for fear of not hurting them, not ruffling feathers or not confronting something? Is it not still hurting them by attempting not to hurt them because it invites in an element of dishonesty from not saying what you really feel? While we can convince ourselves this is noble, as no compassionate loving soul wants to hurt someone else intentionally, what is the cost? Is the sacrifice of denying the truth in order to NOT hurt someone, but hurting yourself, a worthy endeavor…or a place of denial and lack of self-worth? Can both exist in the same continuum of truth? Are some sacrifices necessary to express a higher love, a higher order?

Everyone loses when we forget to include the intuition, the creative urge, the primal pulse, because in this space mystery lays down her blanket and invites you to stay a while, sit in the void of mystery, bask in the womb of potentiality, open up the imagination beyond pictures that have been painted by a world that wants you to do everything but trust your own knowing.

Let the water bring an energetic flowing, let the earth ground you in the steadiness of her sowing, let the sun charge you in the permeating heat of his soaking, let the air swirl around you with her vortex ever breezy, ever blowing. All is in order…even what feels like chaos.

Truth lives inside of you, it’s not something you find, it’s a realization, a blooming, a rite of passage, an initiation. If you never read a single book, saw a single movie, watched a single podcast you would still have access to that inner realm of nothing and everything because you are the bridge between it, walking heaven and earth, a breathing antenna, a living spark between the electrical charge and magnetic wave of being.

There’s this game of spiritual narcissism that claims there is only one path, one way to have a direct experience with God…think how limiting that is when God is infinite…even the word God I’m using in this sense is limiting.  It’s interesting to witness people assuming that a teacher must know the truth because he, or she, had/has a large following, or because something in their message truly resonates… but then take that and demonize everyone else who doesn’t see it the same, which is the opposite of syncretism, finding our commonalities, and an inability to appreciate how these expressions manifest so beautifully in different cultures and times.

Becoming an instigator of emotional intensity for fuel in proving yourself right is a loss of compassion, a sort of intentional compartmentalization.

We’re given these vessels to help us with discernment, which is a tool for right judgement. We can feel this in our bodies, such as a hardened sensation in the gut, heart palpitations or nausea in our solar plexus.

Our body gives us signals and when we are empowered, embodied, rooted in the physical, we can see how this lives in our nature, in nature, thus opening the channel to more clearly hear our inner truth and messages coming through.

So many want to transcend the physical because being human is so damn hard, it’s much easier to look beyond it, to step into the waiting room of the land of the dead with the hopium that things will be better next time, or in the next realm, but your human experience is a juicy and delicious spiritual quest…it is what you make it. Don’t wait for a life review to see it.

There will always be mystery and there is more than one path towards being baptized in the water of the Divine consciousness. We are each here to walk that journey our own way.

So, be a truth seeker for humanity, be a conspiracy theorist, dive into the spiritual and philosophical insights available to peruse, stay curious and open, but don’t get caught up in superiority because I can assure you there is so…much…more…to…the…story. There are reasons Universal truths exist across cultures, interpretations from that inner essence available to everyone and it’s wonderful to choose one in devotion, in discovery, but pack some humility for the road.

And, because of our human nature, these universalities contain both objective truths and creative subjectivity left for interpretation as a form of making meaning and sense of our place inside the Cosmos, in this earthly experience that is an invitation to open the treasures of the heart.

In a world of extremes where narcissism reigns supreme, ask yourself, what truth am I unaware of? What do I feel to be truth but have not experienced directly? Why do I feel compelled to truth seek…is this a form of escape, avoidance, apathy or a yearning to go deep?

What do I believe to be true and how does this actually impact my daily real-life experience? Am I truly seeking because I want to know from a pure intention or is it egoic solipsism?

What if the greatest truth is simply noticing how you are living in the present moment, how you are loving, how you are giving? What if the greatest conspiracy is that all conspiracies of the past and those yet to happen are not near as important as appreciating every moment, in communing with Source when you mow the yard, when you eat a blueberry, when you embrace a loved one, when you walk down the street, when you communicate….in everything.

The way is in the heart, the mind gets in the way, thus intellectualizing the way and leaving the heart behind will make the earthly ride void of both joy and necessary suffering.

Spiritual superiority is a mask, but only the wearer knows what hides behind it.

The Most High doesn’t require doctrine, even though spiritual texts can be tools for innerstanding, gaining knowledge and critical thinking…. just don’t let it go to your head.

Some truth seekers call out the elite for their wrongdoings on the government stage, yet carry the same superiority complex when it comes to a spiritual cage.  When one side pushes that their belief is the only way, it’s easy to miss how we may be doing the same thing on a different page…this is why real truth seeking is an inside job.

Are you really seeking truth or do you just want to feel superior and more awake than others? If you can’t find peace on earth and do the work here, then what makes you think you’ll find it when you leave this physical plane?

Instead of punishing yourself and others, what if just for today, you were able to feel the beauty, awe and glorious wonder all around us and in our connection with the Divine consciousness that is available to us now…what if?

This world of spiritual superiority is a narcissistic wonderland, the same-old, same-old playing out on ring inside the wheel. To realize the faults inside religion, then the new age, then transfer it to yet another belief system, will just keep you running around in circles until (hopefully) seeing there is no one to “follow” but your own highest excitement as guidepost from the Divine….and it’s sacred and meaningful… and it might not be the path another walks.

The same person who will say that others can’t handle the truth, that they have the “secrets” others aren’t ready for also can’t handle the truth about their own superiority complex. 

I’m not about demonizing the ego either, a healthy ego is necessary for cultivating genuine confidence, but a toxic ego wears a mask of false confidence created by trying to feel powerful over others…these are not the same thing. 

Hierarchy does exist but more often than not it’s expected when not earned, it’s a language of mastery but not living it…it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, not practicing what you preach or sounding intelligent with the heart completely out of reach. Thus, spiritual superiority is not equivalent to a commitment of mastery and devotion, because that never would involve putting others down along the way…the road may be long, it may be one you have to walk alone, but extend a hand and get up from the throne…. for finding home is to seek within yourself and begin to see the Divine that is in all around you, in others, in all that is living…and sometimes it comes through those you deem lesser than you or the “they” you always focus on or maybe even the truth staring back at you that you held a mirror up to only to be unwilling to look at the reflection.

We all find ourselves on the wrong side of the road sometimes, distracted, or looking in the wrong direction…that’s the beauty in being human, it’s that moment we can turn around and change direction.

And for God’s sake, unblock you’re clown chakra and learn to laugh a little, because it’s a clown world and the horror clowns in the game of duality are winning…and they ‘aint funny…I know I know how dare do I poke fun, that’s such a low brow root chakra thing to do………………or is it…..cause Source has the craziest sense of humor and laughter is one of the most healing things you can do for a reason.

Ask yourself, what are you really seeking…is it truth? is it a savior? is it wisdom? is it a title..a label…so you can say you’ve reached a certain level…finally made it up the mountain…reached enligntenment….or is it something else entirely?

The most spiritual people I know are real AF, the feelers unafraid of the muck, the imperfectly perfect recognition that your shadow needs no definition, no fancy robes or false hopes, seekers who know what they don’t know, who know no…who know how to flow, the lovers of life that being around them somehow makes everything alright….amidst the madness, there is a turn towards gladness… a cleansing of the everlasting sadness…a conscious creating of happiness.

It’s your flaws, your shadowy traits that often make you the most loveable and relatable, not in some superficial toxic BS way, but in the acceptance of the ever-changing journey and the many layers that make up its whole.

Your heart knows things your mind will never understand, don’t keep it caged, nor resist its truth, open up, let it expand….for it is always available, always at hand…just reach inside and feel the depths of its beating commands.

Love and Laughter…leave your grandiosity at the door, pick your compassion up off the floor,

Angela