You Can’t Intellectualize The Way

The Most Beautiful Ugliest Truths

If you open your eyes and look around at the masses, it’s easy to see that both men and women are walking around lying to themselves, holding trauma deep inside, storing emotions in the body, an overload of information between the ears, and self-censoring long before the mass formation psychosis and masking compliance became the least virtuous thing one could do, yet shouted as the most.

The fact is, you can’t intellectualize truth or emotions. You can’t use your body as a mask to hide behind. You can’t find your way if you don’t give yourself permission to be you. Everything is connected, IQ, EQ, embodiment, spirit…and yet this inner divisiveness contributes to the outer chaos. There is an unwillingness to harmonize the inner-state of being, thus the inner-states of the collective roadways mirror in road blocks, road rage, and going the wrong way. What if the battle can be won by just stopping to turn around, to orchestrate and orate the direction you want to go? What if the highway of life says you can go your own way, but it is how you navigate the challenges upon the path that determine how fast or slow you get to where you are going?

The “information” highway, however, is both a curse and a blessing. Weapons shout but you can’t hear them. Cover your ears or learn how to feel them. The distractions of this world aren’t going away and yet I don’t know how attention spans can get any shorter without going into some sort of cave-like existence where people just point and grunt.

The over stimulation of a world gone mad has created a desensitized vessel operated by a poison mind.

Apathy has become the carrier wave frequency of group-think, the messenger pigeon of cloaked words written by hearts barely beating, unable to express the hurt.  A metronome made of needles clinks on beat, but cold veins rust inside the bloody flowing river.

Truth seekers try to intellectualize information that can only come from the inner knowing of self-discovery, from the spiritual seeking of something greater, from the courage to face cognitive dissonance and the openness to be wrong-right-change-stay-the-same.  

People want truth handed to them on a silver platter yet cannot digest the meal if they aren’t ready to face the music, dive into their own soul, and dance with the devil sitting on their shoulder.

Ultimately here is no link for many truths, there is no white paper or scientific study, there just is.

As long as you try to intellectualize your way into knowing you can never know. Gnosis is an inside job and the paradox is that it can’t be forced, it has to come from a genuine desire to connect with God, with yourself, a playful openness to discovering the magic that is always possible, the music always playing and the patterns always present.

You can’t intellectualize your emotions either.  Emotions must be felt, you must be willing to feel pain as much as you desire to feel pleasure. You must be able to experience the physical and emotional connection to the vast discomforts that can ensue when emotions are numbed and not allowed to rise up as the messengers they are meant to be.

Relationships of all kinds dissolve because the toxic positivity movement of false spiritual enlightenment denies the existence of being a real human. The fear that you will manifest something bad because you feel all your feelings is absurd, incorrect, and really fucking toxic. People need avenues of expression and there are few that can hold space for the depths of despair plaguing society, as the hard truth is that one can only do so for another as far as they have been willing to do for themselves.

The disassociation from feelings has become a justification for enlightenment, just detach, just let go, just float in a mushy blob of indifference.

The intellectualization of claiming to have all the answers and being emotionally apathetic is the new billboard for wounded souls, yet the marquee is short circuiting and the neon light is an attention seeking decoy.

The true inner light comes from a place that doesn’t fear feelings, that knows what it doesn’t know, that understands that enlightenment is a painful arduous process of unlearning, unpatterning, undoing and recognizing that this is a practice, not a destination.

I heard a quote the other day that said something like, “if you think you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family.”  Now, that is the truth! How many relationships have been dissolved because no one wants to feel anything uncomfortable or face confrontation? How many acts of compassion have not happened because it’s easier to hide behind the fear of looking at the reality of life and pretend everything is positive and wonderful. The Barbieland Stepford wives reality is denial of the human experience.

Life is messy.
Enlightenment is finding the light within inside the mess.
Sovereignty is standing up with a tall spine from that place of inner knowing, from a Divine spark lit “UP” in trajectory. 

A clear mind and a clear vessel come from alchemizing information, feeling your feelings, and working with the rootedness necessary for thriving in an embodied energetic state of being.

The airwaves are filled with static and fear, the more you can alchemize and discern, the better, but how do you open up your antenna, activate your own radar and alchemize information so it doesn’t overtake you and pull you into choices that are not your own, projections that are not the real you, and compromises that squander your integrity?

That is a question I cannot possibly answer in one blog post, but I would start with asking yourself questions such as:

How much are you really being distracted in a day? Of all of the information you are taking in, how much is actually useful for your life? Are you applying what you learn and integrating it into your life or have you become the information cookie monster of consumption?  If you can’t apply the information to real life then how it is worthwhile? Is it a philosophical theory or belief that could be useful insight for the decisions you are making in life or is it conjecture, fluff, that just makes you feel good? Are you taking time to stop and check in with your body during the day, asking yourself when presented with information, how does this FEEL in your body, in your heart…does it feel constricting? Does it feel expansive? Does it feel confusing? Does it feel clear? Have you seen this pattern play out before? Have you heard this before? Are you only listening to information or watching videos, but not reading? How could reading change the way information is absorbed, expressed, exchanged? Are you having conversations about what you are learning? Are you telling yourself feel good affirmations, but it’s really just an excuse to not take action?

Asking yourself questions, taking time for self-reflection, contemplation, mediation, journaling, walks in nature and imaginative processes are not just something you do once. These are necessary tools for finding your authentic self and then allowing it to be expressed outward, for discovering inner truths then sharing what you’ve learned, for dissolving triggers that were simply conflicting beliefs held inside your body between what the world tells you and what you really know.

Go outside often and sit in nature, simply ask yourself, what do I feel? What am I observing to be in my reality? Am I thinking clearly over letting stored unprocessed reactive emotions cloud my judgement? How can I deepen my connection with Source today? What is really true?

The intellect and ego are so important, but without emotional intelligence and maturity, there is a great imbalance. There are truths of the Universe that are both subjective and objective, without an open heart you will spin in circles trying to intellectualize your way and will never get anywhere.  Experiencing the duality of life is a gift for you can never know pleasure without pain, you can never truly love without suffering, you can never find success without failure. Fruitful living is a labor of learning to love the process, the pain, the celebrations, the perseverance, the beauty in the mess, the perfection in the imperfection.

The Way is not simply climbing the mountain and becoming enlightened. You can fall back down (and you will), you can climb a harder mountain, some take the escalator, some don’t feel they need to climb at all, but one thing is for sure we’re all going somewhere, both individually and collectively, each influencing the other.

Along the way, don’t forget to get out of your head and into your heart, be the bridge between the mind and matter, synthesize the intuition and the intellectual chatter, explore beyond the possibilities of what seems possible as you make your way up the ladder.

Remember, a lightbulb moment is great, but without a creative outlet or plan of action it is just an idea in the brain, a floating possibility of aetheric information that may never be grabbed and transformed, that may only be a data point of consumption, that is waiting for the right soul to sign up and bring it to life.

The uglier the truth the more beautiful the possibility of it freeing you from the binds that are usually self-imposed.  The trick is in the feeling, seeing, being, doing…not just the thinking.

The Way waits
the senses gather
the toe taps a pitter-patter
the heart hides in cloak-and-dagger
the feelers feel like a mad-hatter
the spine stands up for it is the ladder
can you climb up it and find what matters?

With Love inside this beautiful mess called life,

~ Angela