TOXIC HIGH-VIBES

Stop pretending

Put your dukes up for the battle of the Low vibe vs High vibe tribes…put ‘em up, put ‘em up.

I get sick of the high-vibe chatter, what does that even mean?

A lot of it is just toxic positivity wrapped up in another label.

Don’t focus on the negative.

Just be high vibe and stay positive.

Everything is your fault because you aren’t high vibe enough.

I don’t want to hear about your problems or lend an ear because I’m high vibe.

These statements above are just a few examples of the high vibe nonsense coming out of the mouths of internet talking heads and new age followers. It’s harmful, hurtful, invalidating…it’s toxic.

The concept of high vibe is used as a way to:

-        Gaslight yourself and others

-        Avoid, numb out, or disassociate from any emotion not deemed positive

-        Excuse bad behavior

-        Justify poor choices

-        Lie to yourself instead of looking at reality

-        Create a pedestal of superiority

It’s an epidemic of delusional proportions.

If you don’t give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, then you can’ t process the emotions and they will manifest in other ways like explosive anger or addictions.  By only ever seeking the positive, or “high-vibe” you gaslight yourself, stifling growth and enabling abandonment in times of need.

Like many things in our society, the duality of opposites become a war of extremes, red vs blue, vegan vs carnivore, high vibe vs low vibe …and somewhere in the middle lives the truth.

Misery loves company, thus, I’m not saying you should submit yourself to people who just want to keep you down to their level because that’s many people, but there’s a fine line between calling yourself high-vibe and being a woke’ish moron.

There’s a reason why so much of this high-vibe garbage feels so cringe, because most of it is a load of crap…and I know you know what I’m talking about…you know.

It’s like the high school peer pressure turned into overly-glamorized spiritual bypassing, you’re not the cool kid if you aren’t positive enough….only the high vibe kids sit at this table…huh? I’m pretty sure the people minding their own business and living their life are more high-vibe than those promoting it like a label of achievement.

Most people that I’ve known that make this claim are anything but high vibe. They use the language as a mask.  Practices such as using your crystals, “avoiding” negativity, and affirmations are the cover story that supposedly makes you high vibe, but it’s all superficial nonsense.

If you call anyone out on it, they will pull up the power vs force chart and say, see, this book says these emotions are high vibe and these aren’t…. So let me get this straight, you think by AVOIDING half of the emotions you are given as a way to guide and help you move through life within the spectrum of wholeness and meaningfulness, you are high-vibe?

PRETENDING to be enlightened but not dealing with your humanness is absolutely bullshit. Being human is spiritual. Being spiritual isn’t always “high-vibe.”

You don’t find inner peace by avoiding pain, grief, fear, etcetera. You find it by facing all of these things within that show us something about ourselves that needs to be acknowledged, alchemized, understood…and it’s not a one-time gig, it’s ongoing.

Which is higher vibe:

-        Standing in honor to the Sacredness of your life by refusing to wear a mask or participate in the lie, knowing this may bring about confrontation, uncomfortableness, and require courage…. OR saying you are high vibe and wearing your mask with love and light symbols to virtue signal the facade of appearing to care about humanity by doing what most everyone else is doing?

-        Living from a place of moral principles, even if everyone else is pressuring you to go along with what’s deemed normal, accepted and fashionable by society…OR pretending to be high vibe by only saying things that make you likeable to gain followers, never ruffling any feathers and always compromising yourself to appear a certain way while knowing inside it’s a lie?

-        Feeling anger when someone has wronged you or someone you love and expressing this in a healthy way…OR denying anger when there is a reason for it because you are high-vibe and avoiding all things negative.

-        Grieving loss with time, reverence and heartfelt love in order to honor and release the pain from losing what we love…OR holding it all inside and building walls so tall that you can no longer feel, because high-vibe.

-        Feeling healthy guilt or shame after making a bad decision or hurting someone (be it intentionally or unintentionally) because you’re human and making the situation right by apologizing or recognizing your error…OR avoiding guilt or shame because that would mean acknowledging your mistakes and recognizing you aren’t invincible.

You want to be high-vibe, here’s some ways I feel are much better examples of what it “truly” means.

1.      You give yourself permission to be fully human. Life is a glorious grand adventure and to experience it in its totality is to recognize that the depths at which you can travel down into those low vibes are also the depths at which you can experience so called, high-vibes. The people with the most joy, know real sorrow. The people with the most peace don’t run from fear. The people who are the most enlightened are often not the ones sitting on a meditation cushion all day avoiding reality…. avoiding reality is the easy button that every industry is trying to sell. Waking up and taking responsibility for your own life, taking care of animals, visiting someone who is dying, completing mundane chores with gratitude, finding love for life even though it’s difficult, even though there are terrible things happening in the world…. that’s a few examples of high-vibe living.

2.      Embodiment by developing emotional intelligence and regulation, knowing it’s imperative to feel and listen to your body’s feedback system in order to navigate through life. Connecting with your body instead of always trying to disassociate from it, even if that means acknowledging feedback you don’t want to hear, feel or see.

3.      Authenticity and self-responsibility go together like bread and butter. The more we show up without compromising ourselves, walking the earth with the self-awareness and inner-knowing that everything is connected, that I have both a responsibility to explore my own purpose and creative gifts, live within the bounds of natural law and that there are consequences for every action AND inaction, then the concept of high-vibe starts to look a whole lot different than its shiny portrayal in happy quotes.

On the Hawkins consciousness scale, each emotion listed has a healthy and unhealthy expression and are two sides of one expression such as Joy-Sorrow, Courage-Fear or Apathy-Neutrality. You can have joy for something that hurts another, you can pretend to be joyful when you’re hurting inside because you “fear” negative vibes. To me, these should be seen as a continuum, not a hierarchal chart of good vs bad.

A lot of the “good-vibes-only” narrative is really selfish and harmful, it’s a way of saying, my comfort trumps your feelings, or the relationship as a whole, it’s an unwillingness to be uncomfortable and navigate real life with other humans, especially when it’s needed most.

If you desire genuine relationships then that means you will make mistakes and you’ll have to be able and willing to move through those situations: apologize, share, learn, and ultimately deepen loyalty by not running away.  When two people are both committed to a friendship, as well as personal growth and responsibility then when things happen, it’s seen as a shared opportunity for further bonding and growth, not a time to say, oh well they aren’t being high-vibe so I’m out. Obviously, this is a two-way street, one person can’t pick up the tab for another’s inability to work on things or unwillingness to look at their own issues.

So many people that always tout the high-vibe narrative believe themselves to be more evolved than others, but really are less-so as they shut off the ability to be empathetic or be there for someone emotionally. Their fear of something not being high-vibe overrides reason and turns into a scapegoat for the fear of losing control. Learning to recognize the gift in conflicts is to see that this is actually a necessary and important part of a healthy relationship of any kind.

As I write this, I have a cat asleep on each side of me, I look at them and I feel joy for witnessing them be at peace, taken care of, and safe so they can rest well, easy, without having to put their guard up. Some days I wish I had a break from it all and ask myself why do I take on so much, but then I’m reminded that life is not about constantly thinking about ourselves, self-care, and trying not to experience anything “hard” or “uncomfortable” …but the very opposite.  These moments, these animals, that’s high-vibe, pure and holy.

To give of ourselves to another, be it animal companion or friendship, is high-vibe.
To be willing to be uncomfortable and be there for someone in need, is high-vibe.
To stand tall in courage, when no one else stands beside you, is high-vibe.
To feel your feelings, all of them, is high-vibe.
To do what is right when no one else is looking, is high-vibe.
To authentically express yourself without bending to another’s approval, is high-vibe.
To extend a hand or ear when it’s not convenient, is high-vibe.
To help those who don’t have a voice or can’t help themselves, is high-vibe.
To align your actions with higher values and moral code, is high-vibe.
To take responsibility for yourself, your actions, maintain self-discipline, is high-vibe.
To know yourself and not be swayed by distractions, propaganda, shiny-object syndrome, is high-vibe.
To listen to your intuition, even when it’s not what you want to hear, is high-vibe.
To find gratitude inside the little every-day things, appreciating what is, is high-vibe.
To take actions to make someone else’s day better, even if just a text or phone call, is high-vibe.
To become self-aware, including how your actions affect those around you, is high-vibe.
To connect with nature, honor the beauty and nourishment all around us, is high-vibe
To seek to make the world better each day in whatever way you can, is high-vibe.
To be able to laugh at yourself and see the humor in life, is high-vibe.
To sometimes recognize the value in going without, let desires burn out, sit with discomfort, be still, let abundance show itself in ways you never thought about, is high-vibe.
To follow your heart, your dreams, even when the world tries to knock you down, is high-vibe.
To break out of the status quo, even inside the microcosms of the macro, is high-vibe.
To take steps to remove yourself from the system and become sovereign, individuated, author of your own life, that’s high-vibe.
To create beauty in your environment, in your way of being, through your creativity, is high-vibe.
To be a friend to someone through both hard times and good times, is high-vibe.
To speak to yourself (and others) both truthfully and lovingly, is high-vibe.
To let go of what is not working in your life to make room for what is meant to “vibe” with you, is high-vibe.
To have self-respect, appropriate boundaries, knowing who you are, living by and honoring your word, is high-vibe.
To work towards achieving greater health and well-being daily, is high-vibe.

If you are going through a hard time of life, this doesn’t mean you aren’t high vibe, it means you are a human and this is part of life.

If you are a victim of something outside of your control, it doesn’t mean you are low vibe or that you “attracted” this situation into your life…it means life happens and you get to control your re-action, learn from the situation and seek to not get caught in victimhood, but this doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

All the labeling and gaslighting, the false assumptions and correlations, it’s not healthy and it’s not always true.

While sometimes we do create our circumstances and face consequences for poor choices, this is part of the human experience to sharpen our abilities, senses, and guide us towards greater self-awareness to see through things more clearly, understanding the law of cause and effect ever-present, learning lessons and how to navigate life’s challenges.

There will always be challenges and obstacles to overcome because there is ALWAYS room for improvement, no matter how high-vibe you think you are, or how perfect, enlightened, or the belief that you have it all figured out….no, you will have tower moments too…. even if you choose to ignore it, or put on your best face to the world while crumbling behind it.

I know because I’ve done it. As someone who is always seen as the “strong” one, I can assure you no one likes to see, or be there for, those they view in this way, as weak. It’s a reminder that no matter how much you think you have things figured out, everyone has weakness. The person that has had to be strong to sruvive has few with which to confide, at least this has been my life. People can only hold for you what they have been willing to do for themselves.

You are a living man or woman of the soil, if you want to be high-vibe, dig your heels in to the dirt, let the morning sun wash over you, and go do stuff (haha)…and then you will be high-vibe but you won’t even know it, and you won’t have to even try, nor will you need a book or chart to tell you so.

Crystals are cool.
Meditation is useful.
Feeling good authentically (even when it’s not easy), is awesome.
Taking care of yourself, heck yes.
Pulling yourself out of never-ending black holes, a win for night-lights and moonlight!
Moving through life with a joyful disposition is amazing to achieve.
….But really feeling it all, giving it your all, showing up for the dirty-painful-gritty-messy-ugly bits of this thing called life….now that, that’s high-vibe!

Other high-vibe shit you might not hear people talk about:
Picking boogers out of your cat’s nose.
Cleaning up chicken poop.
Picking up trash off the road.
Helping a turtle cross the road.
Mending wounds.
Keeping your shit together when SHTF.
Carrying something for someone.
Holding open doors.
Having a hard conversation.
Taking naps under trees.
Staying silent when you want to slap someone upside the head.
Holding up some strong boundaries.
Forgiving yourself after absolutely losing it.
So many ways to be high-vibe are not always easy, often hilarious and weird.

Here’s a high-vibe picture of me and one of my chickens. It’s a shit show mucky mess most days, but it’s a helluva vibe…Ha Ha!

Growing wings to take flight doesn’t come from being high-vibe, but by sinking down low, rooting wholly in this thing called life. This is where the roots grow, and wings sprout, where beauty flows and hearts beat in and out, without doubt, nothing to shout out, just quietly going about, every moment an opportunity for devotion to the Divine and appreciation for being here in the now.

We live in a world blanketed with frequencies and distractions that are anything but high-vibe, but you can overcome it. The emerald emanation from inside your heart is the anti-dote to the stone-cold waves of fear and hatred, the electrical and magnetic pulse of your love, the highest-vibe of all.

What vibes are you putting out?
What vibes are you letting in?
What vibes are based in truth?
What vibes move beneath your skin?

Life might not always bring good vibes
You might not always feel good vibes
It’s ok.
You’re alive and that’s the greatest vibe of all
Things are meant to ebb and flow
Sometimes you have to get low to let go
Sometimes down on your knees and crawl
Listen to the energy, the Earth’s frequency
And know, the whole experience is a windfall
Life, breath, easy, hard….
It's all a vibe, just like the bird’s call
Sometimes the fall is what makes things good
Can’t fly high without first traveling afoot

There are times where focusing on maintaining positivity is beneficial, where trying to lift yourself up and be high-vibe is important for moving through life. I appreciate genuine efforts by people as the more whole we all become the juicier-loving-joyful energy we can bring to those around us! The systsem wants you in the duldrums that’s why they push some much fear out, but the system can’t create…..you can….and it’s the ability to take that and alchemize into something else that turns lead into gold, makes magic unfold.

Maybe it’s time to let go of the “positive vibes only” mentality in order to open up the doors to a more beautiful expression, one that might be a bit messy but doesn’t leave people feeling like they have to walk around constantly in a state of good vibes, even when that’s not how they feel.

Someday the tower will fall and people might not feel so “positive.” When that time comes they’ll wish they didn’t push away everyone who didn’t walk around pretending, they were “high-vibing” 24/7, because they will need them.

Sometimes people need a pick-me-up, a friend who will listen or a friend who will say I’m coming to get you and we’re going on an adventure, or I’m coming over with tissues and ice cream.

It’s not healthy to walk around pretending to be happy constantly in the same way it’s not to live in a state of negativity and misery. Be joyful if you feel joyful! Let your exuberance shine!!! But don’t deny yourself rainy days and gloomy scenarios that might be important for putting things in perspective in order to let go of unnecessary worries.

Good vibes are contagious and uplifting, this is not the same thing as a toxic high-vibe that’s just a highlight reel void of real feels.

We don’t need fake high-vibes, we need authentic joy by howing up in the world as a centered and steadfast being.

Remember, there’s a cranky negative old curmudgeon out there that probably needs love the most…do you have it in you to run to the negative instead of from it, transform it instead of letting it bury deeper as a cry for help. Being high-vibe is not not spending the day in a self-care spa day or bubble baths, it’s learning to be an emotional fire-fighter for yourself and others, it’s trial-by-fire, it’s learning to water your garden so you can share it with others, light up your passions so you can be an example of inner fulfillment and purpose, it’s making magic where there is none, it’s seeing beauty where there is only ugliness.

Spread good vibes and work to maintain a positive outlook, but don’t get caught up in toxic energy masked inside the language of “only good vibes.” That’s annoying and annoying’ness is at maximum capacity. ;-)

Earth school is hard AF for everybody, so give some love and try do some good-deeds,….

Be a Vibe that’s real in a world of way too much artificial,

Love, Light and everything in between,

Life’s a trip,

With big hugs,

Angela
(P.S. Why do the fake good vibes people never seem to have a sense of humor?)

Fake positivity isn’t high-vibe, it’s a form of denial, wishful thinking on trial, inside is on fire while your face conjures up a smile to appease a lifestyle that’s nothing but juvenile.