Thankful for Problems

GRAtitude

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I think it’s important we find gratitude for our problems, challenges, pain, and suffering for these, too, are gifts that often hold the keys to our greatest transformations, love and experiences.

I’ve been through some challenging times in my life, as many have. The past three years have brought forth new challenges. As a natural problem solver who always finds a way and figures things out, these challenges were different, they tested my resolve, resources, and capacity to hold uncertainty, solitude and injustice without solutions.

The ultimate test for me has been the ability to see the importance of not letting our hearts harden, our childlike curiosity wander away in bewilderment and to continue on course despite harsh lessons, wrongdoings and what sometimes feels like no sight of the shore while getting seasick on a very bumpy journey.

Patterns emerged and I dove into self-contemplation, but then I began to realize that wasn’t the answer. Self-contemplation and looking for my part in the challenges, seeking the silver lining, while often useful, wasn’t getting me anywhere, changing the vastness of the experience, nor easing the intensity.

I knew the choice I made was self-imposed from those looking in, but the choice was made through an intuitive “must,” a push from God, the Universe, a lightning bolt hit and drove my actions, I took a leap of faith and maybe walked into a test to see how much I really wanted to change, how much I was willing to endure and if I could pass the initiation as granted by Mother Earth. I know there is a greater leap waiting for me as I prepare for the next step.

When life circumstances pushed me too far and became more than I could bear, I sought consult from a trusted Hindu Priest. What he said has forever changed me.

When I explained the series of challenges that had overwhelmed me, been a steady and unrelenting onslaught that hadn’t let up…. he said, “You are SO VERY BLESSED.” I thought I “knew” what he meant but I had to sit with this for some time before I soaked into my bones, into gnosis.

Only those willing to step out of line from the hive can begin to see it for what it really is, the illusion of comfort. The more you begin to walk your own path, seek sovereignty, chart your own course…the more roadblocks and challenges will appear. This will deter many, they will turn back….the system says, I’d turn back if I were you…because the system needs you in-line to do its bidding. It thinks you will be so phased by the challenges that you’ll just give up.

Grá is the Irish word for love, thus, inside gratitude and thanksgiving we are being given a hint to the importance of love. If we can hold love, appreciation, and be grateful for, not just who we are, what we have, who we love and who loves us, but also for the challenges that made us, the pain that shaped us and the suffering that taught us joy, then we’re getting closer to embodying what the word gratitude truly means.

The capacity for which our lives can grow is directly related to the willingness to put ourselves inside uncomfortable places, push our edges and see what force we’re really made. Sometimes that capacity grows by enduring boredom instead of getting caught up in endless distractions, facing a barrage of challenges, trying to learn something new, failing creatively, and/or finding joy in menial tasks…. chop wood, carry water.

I’m trying to get better at that chop wood part… every day when I scrape chicken poop off the ledge and clean the litter box, I remind myself that this is a great privilege, an honor, a gift to be able to be loved and guardian for an animal, for they are one of the great teachers of our realm. This, like many great responsibilities, is important to offset the cruelty, desensitizing and apathy of a world walking around with its head in a screen. I’m guilty, too…some days I login when I should be logging more time with my dog, or a pen, or a chore, or focusing on my own dreams.

The pLandemic of 2020 showed me that I am incredibly strong, that I can stand up to many people and not be swayed by the power of influence, propaganda or peer pressure. Having inner resolve, resilience and strength doesn’t mean I’m not an absolute bumbling mess some days, some months…it doesn’t mean I don’t falter often, make a lot of mistakes, get stuck, or sometimes let the trials and tribulations overtake me, that definitely happens….and then I get up and I keep going.

I know a lot of you can relate, so I’m writing this to say, if you are in a dark night right now, if things seem unbearable, if you aren’t sure how to get out of a situation, solve a problem or move forward….that’s good, you are being greatly blessed so hang on…hang on with a firm grip and steady your feet upon the earth because one day you will see the power in the greatness of your trials….not everyone is so lucky to have such grand challenges.

I get it, that can sound cold, but the next time you’re thinking, “damn this sucks (and you should feel the reality of it, don’t sugarcoat with toxic positivity)”…say to yourself, I’ve got this and I’m thankful to have such a huge opportunity to grow, to walk into the fire, to slay the dragon…not everyone is open to being squeezed with such great pressure that they transform into a diamond…a walking north star.

When we invite life’s challenges in, when we aren’t afraid to rock the boat, when we step into the storm like the bison does, into the bitter cold, we open ourselves up to reach out and touch Divinity...where the unseen and the seen meet.

Like the Truman show, the world is driven by fear, the controllers take that fear as loosh, but its’ really a pacifier to self soothe their own fears. This is why so much of the propaganda and rules inside the system are driven around things being “safe,” when really there is no such thing. The depths to which you abandon your own soul is the same as the lengths you’ll go to keep yourself safe, even when it is completely illogical, even harmful. Real safety comes in knowing thyself, in knowing when to surrender to the Divine plan and often that comes with great challenges that require us to either conquer fear or feel it and do it anyway…whatever “it” is for you.

As Truman says, “Is that the best you can do?”

When you don’t have any problems, that’s when you know you have a real problem.

How blessed are we to have such massive collective problems right now…it’s no surprise as to the magnitude as much has been brushed under the rug and ignored for some time…but here we are and we get to change what isn’t working, what has been revealed to us…one by one…day by day.

Problems are often revelatory, cloaked lightbulb moments, the arrival of discord to dissolve dissonance and bring forth greater insight and clarity. Instead of praying for our problems to go away, let us ask for the abilities needed to meet and move through them in the best way possible.

The size of your problems is a direct influence to the scope and trajectory of your life, so know that whatever challenge you are facing is preparing you for a bigger problem and that can be a good thing. The more problems we have the better we get at solving problems, the less resistance comes up when things go sideways…or at least when it seems that way…it opens the door to greater creativity and resourcefulness that has the potential to enrich and inspire, even though it’s not always fun when going through it.

There is no doubt in my mind that the problems we avoid hold the (w)holiest treasures. Overcoming challenges builds character, it is the agitation that brings refinement and clarity. Problems are like detours to help us get back on track through resolving conflict and we can choose to see them as an adventure in this human experience or a tower moment, be it self-induced or something of fate. Either way, we all have unique lessons to learn that push us into unknown territories that we may not have embarked upon otherwise.

So don’t forget this Thanksgiving week to thank the things that are the hardest to be grateful for…know when to find remedy or solutions and when to let things just be as they are…and while you’re at it, appreciate (and look for) some of the good stuff too… ;-)

It’s difficult, learning to be thankful for the muck, doesn’t mean we have to like it or that it won’t be messy, but damn it feels good to overcome…”Be Like the Bison.”

With GRAtitude,

Angela