Backyard Burials, Part II

Goodbyes

I wrote a farewell a few weeks ago in my post, Backyard Burials, and here I find myself, once again, digging a grave.

Zeeza the Duck was incredibly special to me.

She had an ethereal personality and eyes that felt like they held the wisdom of all of life.

I think I’ve talked about this before, but ducks, being water animals, hold an uncanny ability to touch emotions.

Sit with a duck for a while and you’ll feel that energy-in-motion rise where dormant.

Zeeza drew the short straw for life.

Always picked on.

Always bullied.

Constantly suffering with physical ailments.

Always persevering.

Always quacking.

Always my teacher.

I tried to give her the best life I could despite the many challenges.

She knew this.

When I held her she’d wrap her neck around mine as if to say I trust you.

Unlike most ducks, she welcomed forehead kisses, belly rubs and little pets on her feathers and cheeks.

She had a painful last 24 hours of life, but she passed on her own timing gifting me with NOT having to make that difficult decision.

Digging another grave in the backyard is surreal.

The sweat turned into tears that poured into the hole in the ground as I shoveled.

Placing her there as a gift to mother earth, while feeling the heaviness of packing the dirt over her body in a final farewell.

She inspired me to write a children’s book about her and I’m so grateful to have this memory forever.

She inspired me to love a little bit deeper.

She inspired me to wake up with joy as the first thing I heard every morning for years when I opened the coop door was her quacking and honking eager to start the day as she waddled to the water.

There was an eerily quietness the day after her death, no more Zeeza…my duck days have come to an end, at least for a little while.

Emotions are heavy as I’ve been in a season of loss of those I love and all I can do is feel it, let the tears come when they choose, and remember the sacredness of life.

Everything we think matters in this existence is secondary to taking part in the flow of life that is at hand….savoring time with those we love….moving through the seasons…bidding them farewell when the time comes….honoring what matters most each day.

Ducks are a mess and caring for them takes work…and I wouldn’t trade that time for anything else, no fancy trips away, nothing was more important than filling the water at 5 am, rain or shine, and listening for the sweet sounds of a joyfully quacking duck coming forth.

She would go straight for her kiddie pool where I gave her floating food and she’d gobble it up in a way that was hilarious and far better than Pacman or any video game.

Zeeza was not just a duck, she was my friend.

If you don’t have animals in your life, I highly recommend befriending one and opening your heart courageously to the gifts they will bring to your life, ever how inconvenient, costly, messy, or time taking… it will transform you beyond any life coach or therapist.

Our animal friends are the shamans of the earth and we’re all just here to love and help one another through…

Rest in Peace my lovely Zeeza…shine on swimmingly,

Angela