Backyard Burials

Endings

I’ve been a chicken keeper for almost 5 years. In that time, I’ve nursed back to health a duck that was almost killed by another duck, 2 roosters that were mauled severely by my dog, and a hen that had egg yolk peritonitis. Each situation was extremely dire. Each time I was taught valuable lessons about nature and life.

So often we think the human species is more evolved, that because we have “words” and the opportunity to “choose” we are somehow more conscious.

When you look around the world today, really look, it becomes incredibly obvious that isn’t true.

Nature always initiates us when we respect her. It’s not a one-time thing; it’s an ongoing relationship.

My one Ameracauna Hen, Trishy, fell ill this past weekend.

I found her unable to move lying in the grass.

I try to catch the early signs of issues, but I fail. Could I have saved her if I realized she wasn’t feeling well earlier, I don’t know.

What I do know is this is my first poultry to expire since I began this journey.

Mite infestations, coop issues, and rats eating the food have been some of the challenges we’ve overcome.

Animals have feelings and personalities. The magic they offer up inside daily mundane tasks is ever present when we open our hearts to see it…feel it…participate in it.

Trishy was the smallest hen and a little spaz. She was always running a million miles an hour even when no one was chasing her. She was the first in the coop at night and she had secret hiding places to escape to. We had little secret arrangements for food so she wouldn’t be the last to eat and, unlike my roosters, she was my only hen that actually liked being held.

A luna moth appeared above her “chicken hospital” and I wanted to believe it was a sign of hope but deep down I knew that Luna was offering a message of timing for departure.

I tried for days to nurse her back to health, but this time my efforts didn’t work.

After building trust with the avian kingdom for the past 5 years, I noticed a mockingbird sitting on the fence watching me as I held Trishy and tried to help her.

He’d fly off then come right back, each time getting closer, each time watching us for a good while.

I know he was relaying a message…to whom or what I’m not sure but he knew there was a bird unwell.

Trishy held on a long time despite her body already beginning to go into rigor mortis. I knew there was no going back so I gave her a comfy safe place to rest as she moved on from this life.

I dug her little grave and wrapped her in a floral print cotton towel.

Trishy brought so much life into her quick-witted steps to this property. Her hustle and bustle were like a motor that kept energy flowing. Seeing her busy body come to an end, was surreal.

Moments after her passing a hummingbird shows up at my window and I’ve never had a single hummingbird here in 5 years. It lingered by the window making sure I saw it. It was the perfect expression of Trishy being that they flitter and flutter quickly, too. I got the message.

I remembered my father had left me with a feeder that I never hung up. How fitting that Memorial Day this all took place. My father helps me from beyond through this process.

I made up some sugar water and hung the feeder. Now, every time I see one outside, I’ll think of Trishy…. the fast footed hen with a precious personality.

Digging a grave in the yard is not fun, but also, it’s an honor to be gifted with this task and experience.

I buried her by the chicken run and planted a flower, rest in peace sweet soul.

She wasn’t just a chicken; she was a friend.

The animal kingdom speaks without words, and they feel the energy that comes through ours…. they see it with their extra visual perception that is beyond human capabilities.

It is our job to be with them, to help them, as they help us.

Hold them when they die, honor them when they leave, do not turn from the sorrow…taste the salty tears that meander down your cheek and let them remind you that you have participated in a great exchange of love….and this is the shared purpose we all carry beyond our individual gifts.

Backyard burials are inevitable.

Just don’t bury your love, instead let it fly…and flitter…and hum.

That’s what Trishy would say…. that’s what the hummingbird displays.

It’s no coincidence the tiniest creatures take up such big rooms in our hearts. They show us that life is so much bigger than what we can imagine. They teach us that our attention should always turn towards what is life giving….to recognize the value and importance of each living thing. They remind us that our capacity for love is to push ourselves to see how much of it we can hold…even when we know that love will end in the physical world….but can never fade from existence, moving with us as we, too, one day will expire.

May your love grow today like a flower planted during an ending.

May you hold the tiniest things in great reverence and remember to love even when that may mean losing the physical attachment.

With love for animals…and life…beginnings and endings,

Angela