Men are not immune from many of your thoughts as well. Decades ago, I used to”hair growth” juice trying to avoid baldness which men are told is a turn off to women. Finally, I concluded that my hair would just have to take care of itself, went bald & found it only turned off superficial women. Turned into a good thing by weeding out potential partners that would be disappointing.
This is great. I think it is paradigm shifting to be beautiful at any age. To really be that. Anything less is pure judgement and simply living in a different paradigm. My hair started going grey in my 20s. I remember when my hairdresser helped me color it so I could grow it out (this is personal choice…I love the bold look of how you are doing it—to me—someone would do it that way because it is striking). Anyway, our process took time and I remember when she said if I didn’t like it, I could just dye it again. It was so freeing. Now, I get stopped so people can comment on my hair. I have been hit on by many young men (God help me I am still trying to understand that one). The next thing is to love my wrinkles. I am starting to see them too as pretty…delicate in their own way. Soft. Beautiful. Like you. Like us all. And I do believe hair has energy. Mine is pretty dang happy simply being itself.
Hi Terra! This is such a beautiful comment and I am honored you stopped by to share this with me. It's true, we can always dye it again....just like we can always move to another house...we have options and that is the freeing part of it all. ah, yes, next up, wrinkles! :)
Wonderful, Angela! I think you will love the platinum every bit as much as the brunette! It's so fun that we get to experience an entirely different head of hair courtesy of Nature's colorist! Everyone's platinum/silver/gray is different - featuring various tones, highlights and lowlights. It will be exciting to see your own unique blend grow in! (Have you ever checked out an Instagram called *I Choose Gray*?( I think you'd enjoy her posts.)
Thanks Adrian!! So appreciate the comment...Nature's Colorist, love it! I am not familiar with her instagram but I will take a look, thanks for sharing.
This is awesome. I was just talking about this with Rhiannon on her Weaving Wisdom podcast. My sister started getting Botox in her 30s and it just didn’t feel like the path I wanted to go down..I really like the perspective of some of the French women authors I’ve read who describe aging as ‘standing further back from the mirror’ ‘laughing more’ and ‘enjoying food and pleasure more’ But yeah seems Americans are so dang uptight about it. I’m still trying to find my balance with it. Thanks for airing out your story and experiment for us in true tower fashion!😂🌹
:) thank you! Ah yes pleasure and joy in living instead of all of this ridiculousness......seems like the whole world has forgotten how to do this, laughter a precious sacred experience and a way to survive the madness of aging.
I love this so much, everything about it. Definitely needed to read this today! I'm about 2 years into growing my hair back after buzzing it all off, and it is now a LOT grayer than it was before. I decided to look at it the same way I see my laughter lines-I've earned every single one. Also I take the same stance you do, it looks more platinum than gray. I'll definitely own that and do my best to rock it. 💕
You're welcome, Angela! And rest assured. So far, everything you've written has not just value--but also an overwhelming sense of dignity and honor, which I find so rare, and so endearing. And by the way, the honor is mine too, just knowing I have friends that won't run me off the road--like you. I'm the old-guy-new kid on the substack block, and haven't posted anything yet--just trying to see how it all works, and write something worthy of the outlier gang. You're right about the loneliness; about the weltschmerz that ensues when one steps out of the shearing line. I've got it bad too. So hang in there, and thanks for being interesting and provocative. Looking forward to another post, and will always read all that you write. Cheers, Patrick
Angela--I love the way you think, write, and carry yourself!...reminds me of the form and content one finds in the polyphonics/counterpoint of a classical concerto. As far as the hair? Okay, so now you're "the Silver Sage, worthy of a Gilded Age." Don't worry, you'll always be "irrational," (we both know that's a bit of self-deprecating irony) just as I will always be "Paddy the mig" (Mentally Ill Guy), as will most of the outliers, voluntaryists, heretics, apostates, renegades, critics, and other assorted substack-whackos. Getting back to your post: any man, who after taking in your face and splendid hair-of-many-hues; and upon reading your words, comes away unmoved--without his heart fluttering even a wee bit, and unenchanted--is either a clam head, heartless, or is in denial--at ANY age. Young lady--I think you rock it! Keep up the good work, and keep telling the truth: that--along with love--is what God wants from His children.
What a thoughtful comment. Thanks Patrick. I'm honored to be among the outliers you mentioned, it makes the journey more interesting and less lonely. Appreciate you taking time to read my work and hope you found it valuable.
You're welcome, Angela! And rest assured. I've not only found value in everything you've written, but also an overwhelming sense of poesy and dignity, which I find so rare, and so endearing. By the way, I think it goes both ways, namely, the honor is mine too. Just finding a friendly voice right now--an intelligent voice--greatly binds up my wounds from being run off the road by family and so-called "friends." You are right about the loneliness which ensues, when one dares step out of the shearing line; about the general weltschmerz that comes and goes. I've got it bad too. Right now, I'm the old-guy-new-kid on the substack block, just seeing how everything works, and wanting to post some things that will be worthy of the outlier gang. Hang in there. Our journey is interesting if nothing else (thanks to you and the outliers) and I will always take the time to read everything you write. Cheers, Patrick
I'm a man who has long, thick, reddish brown wavy hair(almost to mid chest) and have been going gray since I was in my early 30s(I'm 44 now). I take my going gray as a badge of honor, tell people my goal is to be Gandalf the Gray by the time I'm 50 and Gandalf the White by age 60(hoping my beard grows long enough lol). My father was completely gray by the age of 25 and dyed his hair until he was in his mid 60s, don't know if it was watching him dye his hair all the time but I never had any interest in doing the same, we are who we are and there is no shame in being yourself, even if it involves having gray hair. One of the greatest compliments I ever received was from my brother in law, he told me that he has always respected me for not having the vanity to dye my hair. Also, my hair is going gray same as yours, have the same shock of gray at the front that slowly recedes down the length of my hair.
Love this and It as taken me a long time as a woman to realize this silver crown is, like you said, a badge of honor! I know you'll give Gandalf a run for his money in the way of grey! Appreciate this comment.
Ditto with Richard Dorn’s comment on baldness. I’ve had my goatee since 2011 and it’s crazy to see pics from my 30s where it was brown but I like the platinum now. Plus I take very good care of myself, good nutrition and still hyper athletic. I might shave it off just to see how much younger I would look but I would still FEEL the exact same. Good luck with everything and you have every right to go back to dye if you want.
I homeschooled my kids, because my friend was successfully with hers. I stopped coloring my hair years ago because it looked beautiful on another mother far more secure than I was. But if she, they can do it so can I.
I feel many in my community say they started down the defiance path because they saw me do it. There’s so much to this in over simplified terms monkey see, monkey do. Not completely in line with your article but my main take away💕
Thanks for the share! That's awesome you were able to home school AND go natural.... it is inspiring to see other women do it. For me, I have had to wait for the right time and trust the process and nudge as it aligns with my own path and here we are! Honestly, it just infuriates me the time, the money and the chemicals....thus, more reasons to not color I could find than to keep doing it...though like I said, I'm still not going to beat myself up if I change my mind....I am sure I've let a lot of weird chemicals soak into my skull over the years, even the most natural options are probably not great...the reversering and undoing is not an overnight thing, that's for sure. :)
Aging is such a trip. It's odd how my body is starting to reflect a number that my eternal spirit just cannot relate to. I'm 48 and feel like I'm perpetually 22. HA!
My hair is blonde so I don't see so much grey yet though I know it's coming. Luckily Nature has designed it so that by the time our bodies begin to change we've matured into EQ masters and can just surrender to the art of not giving a shit!
Ha, we're the same age. Yes EQ masters indeed...the surrender game is not for the faint of heart......I feel you on the 22 thing, I think I'm just getting started, it's all so funny in away - the physical manifestation of paradox.
Ya! I noted that when I read your piece. I think you look fantastic!
48 is the new 22. ;)
"it's all so funny..."
It really is. It's hilarious.
I love being reminded that Source, God, Nature, whatever you call it, has the best sense of humour. After decades of taking myself and things too seriously, I see now that laughing is the way....
If life hasn't broken you by the time you get to 50, it just gets funnier. And with more laughter and less resistance to 'what is', it also gets more magical and exciting.
It really is a paradox- 'if I knew then what I know now' is an impossibility. Had to go through not knowing it to get here. Sigh.....oh life!!
It really is hilarious...and I laugh all the time that in a weird way I feel like I'm getting younger instead of older....I look around at people that seem way older that are younger and vice versa, it's truly strange and clearly sort of a living testimony to our individual karma and dharma.....or something like that, who knows! :)
I see the external as a direct reflection of the internal quality of thoughts and self-talk.
So many people have haunted heads. And as life keeps showing them what they believe about themselves, they accumulate more and more reasons to be miserable.
Sounds like you and I are on the opposite trajectory to them...confronting the lies of unworthiness, undoing the programming, and losing the reasons to reject ourselves. Instead, we turn to love more and more. Aligning with Nature.
Absolutely loved this—it was such an enjoyable read! When I first saw some gray hair appearing, I chose to stop getting highlights. This gave me the chance to try the purple shampoo I'd always wondered about. Embracing my gray hair has actually helped me tackle other challenges we experience. Agree, it's not gray, it's more platinum. xo
interesting, yes, that does say a lot about him for sure as the "norm" says cover it up, hide it, mask it...you know the drill! ha! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience with me.
Men are not immune from many of your thoughts as well. Decades ago, I used to”hair growth” juice trying to avoid baldness which men are told is a turn off to women. Finally, I concluded that my hair would just have to take care of itself, went bald & found it only turned off superficial women. Turned into a good thing by weeding out potential partners that would be disappointing.
Got to weed out the baddies! Thanks for sharing from a man's perspective with similar challenges!
This is great. I think it is paradigm shifting to be beautiful at any age. To really be that. Anything less is pure judgement and simply living in a different paradigm. My hair started going grey in my 20s. I remember when my hairdresser helped me color it so I could grow it out (this is personal choice…I love the bold look of how you are doing it—to me—someone would do it that way because it is striking). Anyway, our process took time and I remember when she said if I didn’t like it, I could just dye it again. It was so freeing. Now, I get stopped so people can comment on my hair. I have been hit on by many young men (God help me I am still trying to understand that one). The next thing is to love my wrinkles. I am starting to see them too as pretty…delicate in their own way. Soft. Beautiful. Like you. Like us all. And I do believe hair has energy. Mine is pretty dang happy simply being itself.
Hi Terra! This is such a beautiful comment and I am honored you stopped by to share this with me. It's true, we can always dye it again....just like we can always move to another house...we have options and that is the freeing part of it all. ah, yes, next up, wrinkles! :)
Cheers back to you!
Wonderful, Angela! I think you will love the platinum every bit as much as the brunette! It's so fun that we get to experience an entirely different head of hair courtesy of Nature's colorist! Everyone's platinum/silver/gray is different - featuring various tones, highlights and lowlights. It will be exciting to see your own unique blend grow in! (Have you ever checked out an Instagram called *I Choose Gray*?( I think you'd enjoy her posts.)
Thanks Adrian!! So appreciate the comment...Nature's Colorist, love it! I am not familiar with her instagram but I will take a look, thanks for sharing.
This is awesome. I was just talking about this with Rhiannon on her Weaving Wisdom podcast. My sister started getting Botox in her 30s and it just didn’t feel like the path I wanted to go down..I really like the perspective of some of the French women authors I’ve read who describe aging as ‘standing further back from the mirror’ ‘laughing more’ and ‘enjoying food and pleasure more’ But yeah seems Americans are so dang uptight about it. I’m still trying to find my balance with it. Thanks for airing out your story and experiment for us in true tower fashion!😂🌹
:) thank you! Ah yes pleasure and joy in living instead of all of this ridiculousness......seems like the whole world has forgotten how to do this, laughter a precious sacred experience and a way to survive the madness of aging.
I love this so much, everything about it. Definitely needed to read this today! I'm about 2 years into growing my hair back after buzzing it all off, and it is now a LOT grayer than it was before. I decided to look at it the same way I see my laughter lines-I've earned every single one. Also I take the same stance you do, it looks more platinum than gray. I'll definitely own that and do my best to rock it. 💕
I've earned it too, love that outlook! :)
You're welcome, Angela! And rest assured. So far, everything you've written has not just value--but also an overwhelming sense of dignity and honor, which I find so rare, and so endearing. And by the way, the honor is mine too, just knowing I have friends that won't run me off the road--like you. I'm the old-guy-new kid on the substack block, and haven't posted anything yet--just trying to see how it all works, and write something worthy of the outlier gang. You're right about the loneliness; about the weltschmerz that ensues when one steps out of the shearing line. I've got it bad too. So hang in there, and thanks for being interesting and provocative. Looking forward to another post, and will always read all that you write. Cheers, Patrick
Angela--I love the way you think, write, and carry yourself!...reminds me of the form and content one finds in the polyphonics/counterpoint of a classical concerto. As far as the hair? Okay, so now you're "the Silver Sage, worthy of a Gilded Age." Don't worry, you'll always be "irrational," (we both know that's a bit of self-deprecating irony) just as I will always be "Paddy the mig" (Mentally Ill Guy), as will most of the outliers, voluntaryists, heretics, apostates, renegades, critics, and other assorted substack-whackos. Getting back to your post: any man, who after taking in your face and splendid hair-of-many-hues; and upon reading your words, comes away unmoved--without his heart fluttering even a wee bit, and unenchanted--is either a clam head, heartless, or is in denial--at ANY age. Young lady--I think you rock it! Keep up the good work, and keep telling the truth: that--along with love--is what God wants from His children.
What a thoughtful comment. Thanks Patrick. I'm honored to be among the outliers you mentioned, it makes the journey more interesting and less lonely. Appreciate you taking time to read my work and hope you found it valuable.
You're welcome, Angela! And rest assured. I've not only found value in everything you've written, but also an overwhelming sense of poesy and dignity, which I find so rare, and so endearing. By the way, I think it goes both ways, namely, the honor is mine too. Just finding a friendly voice right now--an intelligent voice--greatly binds up my wounds from being run off the road by family and so-called "friends." You are right about the loneliness which ensues, when one dares step out of the shearing line; about the general weltschmerz that comes and goes. I've got it bad too. Right now, I'm the old-guy-new-kid on the substack block, just seeing how everything works, and wanting to post some things that will be worthy of the outlier gang. Hang in there. Our journey is interesting if nothing else (thanks to you and the outliers) and I will always take the time to read everything you write. Cheers, Patrick
I'm a man who has long, thick, reddish brown wavy hair(almost to mid chest) and have been going gray since I was in my early 30s(I'm 44 now). I take my going gray as a badge of honor, tell people my goal is to be Gandalf the Gray by the time I'm 50 and Gandalf the White by age 60(hoping my beard grows long enough lol). My father was completely gray by the age of 25 and dyed his hair until he was in his mid 60s, don't know if it was watching him dye his hair all the time but I never had any interest in doing the same, we are who we are and there is no shame in being yourself, even if it involves having gray hair. One of the greatest compliments I ever received was from my brother in law, he told me that he has always respected me for not having the vanity to dye my hair. Also, my hair is going gray same as yours, have the same shock of gray at the front that slowly recedes down the length of my hair.
Love this and It as taken me a long time as a woman to realize this silver crown is, like you said, a badge of honor! I know you'll give Gandalf a run for his money in the way of grey! Appreciate this comment.
Ditto with Richard Dorn’s comment on baldness. I’ve had my goatee since 2011 and it’s crazy to see pics from my 30s where it was brown but I like the platinum now. Plus I take very good care of myself, good nutrition and still hyper athletic. I might shave it off just to see how much younger I would look but I would still FEEL the exact same. Good luck with everything and you have every right to go back to dye if you want.
Thanks Chris, it's really cool to hear men's perspective on this!
You are your own keeper!! And it looks like however u want it to dear
I homeschooled my kids, because my friend was successfully with hers. I stopped coloring my hair years ago because it looked beautiful on another mother far more secure than I was. But if she, they can do it so can I.
I feel many in my community say they started down the defiance path because they saw me do it. There’s so much to this in over simplified terms monkey see, monkey do. Not completely in line with your article but my main take away💕
Thanks for the share! That's awesome you were able to home school AND go natural.... it is inspiring to see other women do it. For me, I have had to wait for the right time and trust the process and nudge as it aligns with my own path and here we are! Honestly, it just infuriates me the time, the money and the chemicals....thus, more reasons to not color I could find than to keep doing it...though like I said, I'm still not going to beat myself up if I change my mind....I am sure I've let a lot of weird chemicals soak into my skull over the years, even the most natural options are probably not great...the reversering and undoing is not an overnight thing, that's for sure. :)
I so agree with this, Angela. It’s refreshing to read. Big hug 💙🤗
Beautiful, Angela!
Aging is such a trip. It's odd how my body is starting to reflect a number that my eternal spirit just cannot relate to. I'm 48 and feel like I'm perpetually 22. HA!
My hair is blonde so I don't see so much grey yet though I know it's coming. Luckily Nature has designed it so that by the time our bodies begin to change we've matured into EQ masters and can just surrender to the art of not giving a shit!
Ha, we're the same age. Yes EQ masters indeed...the surrender game is not for the faint of heart......I feel you on the 22 thing, I think I'm just getting started, it's all so funny in away - the physical manifestation of paradox.
"we're the same age."
Ya! I noted that when I read your piece. I think you look fantastic!
48 is the new 22. ;)
"it's all so funny..."
It really is. It's hilarious.
I love being reminded that Source, God, Nature, whatever you call it, has the best sense of humour. After decades of taking myself and things too seriously, I see now that laughing is the way....
If life hasn't broken you by the time you get to 50, it just gets funnier. And with more laughter and less resistance to 'what is', it also gets more magical and exciting.
It really is a paradox- 'if I knew then what I know now' is an impossibility. Had to go through not knowing it to get here. Sigh.....oh life!!
It really is hilarious...and I laugh all the time that in a weird way I feel like I'm getting younger instead of older....I look around at people that seem way older that are younger and vice versa, it's truly strange and clearly sort of a living testimony to our individual karma and dharma.....or something like that, who knows! :)
I see the external as a direct reflection of the internal quality of thoughts and self-talk.
So many people have haunted heads. And as life keeps showing them what they believe about themselves, they accumulate more and more reasons to be miserable.
Sounds like you and I are on the opposite trajectory to them...confronting the lies of unworthiness, undoing the programming, and losing the reasons to reject ourselves. Instead, we turn to love more and more. Aligning with Nature.
As within, so without. ❤️
Agreed and so beautifully stated. Thank you. :)
Wishing you and every single hair on your head a superb and hilarious day, beautiful sister! :)
Absolutely loved this—it was such an enjoyable read! When I first saw some gray hair appearing, I chose to stop getting highlights. This gave me the chance to try the purple shampoo I'd always wondered about. Embracing my gray hair has actually helped me tackle other challenges we experience. Agree, it's not gray, it's more platinum. xo
Thanks for sharing
interesting, yes, that does say a lot about him for sure as the "norm" says cover it up, hide it, mask it...you know the drill! ha! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experience with me.