The big illusion in all this internet thing is the fooling around with desires, wishes, hopes, and feelings. Actually, it’s what I would expect in an S/M club. No, there is no such thing as a "social network" or even "friends." It’s camouflage. And unfortunately, it isn’t as easy as saying, "If you don't like it, leave it"—because, over the years, more and more real friends have been lost to the system. They had to take on several jobs to pay their bills, and often, the only way to keep in contact with them was via digital illusion.
Did I like that? Not at all. It was just how digital times changed human interaction. And it feels like it’s getting worse: the anonymity that allows fools to spread their hate and stupidity is infecting the real world and real interactions. Since the COVID experiment, mistrust and fear have been written on the sad faces of far too many people.
So let's pray that this era will pass by, just like the era of digital wristwatches did.
Yes to all of this. This is exactly why I titled my album Ghost In The Machine - it’s grown into even more reasons since then but I think we talked about it months ago when I saw your poetry video with you appearing as ghost. I think you were the first person in the “digital world” I disclosed that to lol. It was just too serendipitous.
Another “jolt” I had in this noticing (aside from the censorship) came when I lived in TN and a bad tornado came through. It hit me that at that time in my life, the people I interacted with most were all online and far away. If SHFT, no one online is gonna be there to help you in real life. All of that is rendered obsolete. It wasn’t long after that that I did a digital detox and luckily made some life changes in prioritizing in person connection over every other form. Cuz you’re right, for literally any reason, this illusory world within an illusory world can vanish without explanation or warning. Thanks for this piece. 🙏❤️
I remember us talking about that and you are so right. I've been trying to find off line community but that has only partially come into fruition, a work in progress.
Most definitely a process and we’ve all got diff pathways, I found mine here through hitting open mics like a mf. Have you checked out self reliance festival? Idk when their next one is but they’re out close to you - good ppl, I loved it when I lived there 🙏
Pretty much. I got banned on Telegram for 'spam'. I reported it, they did nothing. I can no longer comment in groups or message people who haven't got me saved in their address book. Did they think I would stop caring about the truth? Actually it just freed me up from a lot of tiresome arguments.
Hi Angela: I came to Substack because I found myself teetering on the edge of cynicism, something I have managed to avoid for the entirety of my life. With the exception of membership in some bulletin boards for very specialized interests, with selective membership requirements, I’ve never been a “social media” person. This is my first foray into an open forum.
Here’s what’s ironic about your post: I had reached the brink of cynicism as a result of some interactions with REAL people, in REAL life, who turned out to be not as “REAL” as they represented themselves to be. Betrayal of trust by “REAL” people REALLY hurts. I needed to interact with some people who are complete strangers, and find someone whom I could believe is at least willing to tell the truth.
You might think that’s weird, or crazy, or deluded. I mean, how is it more likely to find an honest person on the friggin’ Interweb than someone you can see and touch and feel in person, right?
All I can tell you is that I can do it. Given enough time, and enough communication, I can tell. I’m in my eighth decade of life on planet Earth, and I know how to pay attention. In real life, people can say things that are easier to believe under certain circumstances, especially in one in which there is an inherent presumption of honesty and trust. Unfortunately, one of those contexts is one wherein religiosity can masquerade as spirituality. I’m not a religious person, so I’m unfamiliar with the ways in which religion can be disguised as spirituality. Color me considerably more experienced in that area now. A sudden unwillingness to communicate is a dead giveaway.
Anyhow, my first attempt at honest discussion with another Substackian humanoid blew up because honest discussion turned out to be NOT what that individual wanted. You can’t have an honest discussion with people who are more interested in insisting that you mean what they need you to mean than in understanding what you actually mean.
That wasn’t exactly a confidence builder in my quest to avoid cynicism, but I persisted. I still clung to the hope that I could find some folks who can communicate honestly, and above all, are able to accept kindness, and reciprocate. It paid off. There are some intelligent, funny, insightful, articulate people here, who also know how to act like civilized people who genuinely are interested in communicating honestly; some basically decent people. And there even some genuinely spiritual people, by which I mean they have an awareness of the interconnectedness of all things. FYI, It’s not a superstitious concept in my usage of the term. I’m a scientist, not a mystic or supernaturalist.
I don’t have any delusions that these relationships are anything more than just that—people who are willing to share what they think, and are as interested in understanding what I have to say as they are in my understanding what they have to say. That’s all. I realize that we may never meet face to face, but that doesn’t make my my communication with them any less honest or any less meaningful. People matter to me, and relationships have meaning because of the intangible properties exchanged by those involved. Truth and honesty are intangible. Feelings are intangible. Kindness is intangible. Listening and understanding are intangible. All of those are things I have exchanged with people here. It’s NOT “not REAL”.
So, while it’s true that some or even all of the people I’ve “met” here are folks I may never meet in person, it’s nonetheless true that some of them, to the extent that you can know anyone through this kind of interaction, are people I would like to meet. And that’s a far cry from teetering on the edge of cynicism. 😎💟🙏
Hello. It's hard not to be a cynic in this world, online and in real life, so I maintain healthy skepticism until I can determine the nature of a relationship and if it is right for me to maintain an exchange as each interaction is an energy expedenditure and must be assessed from a time-value-expense of said energy in any given moment. You're right that REAL life people can be just as "fake" but it's easier to recognize faster without weeding through limited social media interactions. Both have their place but the issue with the online is when it becomes the only social....if you need a friend to come over that person on the internet is probably not going to drive over and help you out. We get lost inside the black mirror if we're not careful and then poof if the internet is gone so do all of those "relationships." Not every interaction is going to be a thoughtful exchange, got to take it or leave it and keep on moving. Substack is the nicest option I've found. Thanks for reading and stopping by!
Angela: Thanks for your reply. Ya gotta do what works for you. 💟
“The black mirror” is a term that’s new to me. Is that yours? It’s vividly poetic, although I’m not sure I clearly see the analogy or its full implication. I infer that you mean Intertubes “relationships” are ephemeral, and can go dark in an instant if the electronic channel evaporates in a “poof”.
You’re not wrong about that…except that I still believe the people on the other end of this channel are real. The ideas they share are as real to me as if they had spoken them directly to my ears. I believe the feelings they write about are real. In fact, I’m quite sure that some of the things folks have said to me here are things they would never have said in “real life” to a stranger they had known for so short a time, and the same is true in reverse.
It’s true that the inherent insulation of this medium doesn’t provide the high-touch connection you can get in real-life face time, but in another sense if provides a kind of protection that enables folks to drop their guard and be more open without fear of, say, physical assault…or any of the other negative or intimidating aspects of directly interacting with people whose intentions are…um, less than benign.
The truth is that I’m no threat to anyone, especially in person, but no one knows that until they know me. That potential threat is erased here. We have mute and block.
FYI, I do have peeps who will drop everything and rush over to help, as well as lifelong friends with whom I can share just about anything. But there’s something attractive about finding some simpatico in unguarded honesty with complete strangers who understand that there’s nothing else I want from them except their honest reflections, based only on what comes to them from the words I write.
The thing is, I pretty much know what to expect from the folks with whom I already have long-standing relationships. They have a more complete picture of who I am. To be clear, I’m not inclined to be cynical about them.
By contrast, the faux-spiritual folks with whom I felt some hurt were not folks with whom I have any significant history. The hurt is REAL; the “betrayal” thing is a derivative…a story, an interpretation of the hurt. I feel hurt; I think “betrayed”. I don’t invest much in the “betrayal” story; that part is made up. The part I need to understand is the hurt.
Anyhow, it was important to me to learn more about my interaction with strangers, not with people I know well, and who know me well. This whole Substack thing is an adventure—an exploration. I’m looking for folks who say things I don’t expect. I already know that it’s going to take a time investment to find some interesting minds who have different perspectives—ones I haven’t thought of. In the process, I’m honing my communication-with-strangers skills.
I thought about what I wrote after I posted, later in the day, and it occurred to me that I might not have done a very good job communicating where I’m coming from. It’s sort of like you’re saying, “I love vanilla ice cream”, and I’m saying “A hydraulic press can be very helpful in certain applications.” We’re coming from two very different places.
But I left my comments up anyway. Curiosity. I thought you might realize that I wasn’t contradicting you, and you might see something in it that conveyed my perspective. Looks like you kinda did.
Truth be told, I hope you’re never in the place I was in, the notorious Teetering On The Brink Of Cynicism™. It’s not a fun place to be. Thanks again for your reply. 😎
What a fantastic article! Rarely do I reply to anything I read and what you wrote got me thinking. A few people will comment … I see some below who take the time and care enough to do so … but how many read and just say nothing so that the isolation continues? The author has to gauge if their words meant anything by the number of “thumbs up” or “likes” or “restacks”. Well, you affected me and I deeply thank you for this.
Thank you for a meaningful comment. Honestly, this means a lot. I write with the goal to impact critical thinking and unique ways of considering topics beyond what we assume as a society as the only way. And you're right, I know people will message me in private but never comment or interact with my posts directly....the thumbs up can be a superficial engagement or a true symbol of support and an opportunity to connect as it's one of the few measurements...but some also begin to write inauthentically as persuasion to gain the thumbs up instead of letting the right people find their way there. Isolation is the true plague of our time.
Unfortunately, like the spent fuel of our modern lives that sit in landfills now, you're replaceable. Go away. Go away mad. They don't care. There's another to take your place. And they're just as replaceable as you.
As far as caring, the illusion...remember, your presence is just entertainment to others. If you don't entertain, you're invisible. And if you garner attention, it better be the right attention. And what's right now may not be in a month.
Now that's an explanation....I apologize, yes I am "advanced," but more so ME. Literal(ly)........how much time ya got? 😏. Thanks for clarification on sumthin like innuendo type,,,,,type ⌨️👇....I care tho, so it's still more than no one...🫶
I care about the future of humanity. My son, family iz gonna be part of such when I'm gone and well it's the respectful thang for this gift we get, we call life. I believe there's more after this body wears out, but that's no excuse for me to waste time and not give a shit about who comes next. Plus I believe we carry decisions with and trauma , the good the "negative" becomes a trait(s) passed thru DNA. Children don't ask to be born i don't think(more to that possibly too, but proving such I cannot). I was born, grew up with my surroundings, forced(probably too strong a word) interactions, and learned as I go, sooooo....Be very carefully when judging me because I am happy, respectful, authentic, loving, and wit good intentions in life.....So nobody cares sucks as a title in my opinion, but to each their own. Was an excellent read. Thank U....🙏🌬️💞
No One Cares is an innuendo for the digital realm as it is No One...and the robotic nature it can facilitate by sucking people further into apathy and isolation from the real world... and molding people into behaviors they would not ordinarily exhibit in face to face exchanges. And people sit in fears worried what people think...and they don't...the short paced attention spans in the unsocial-social-media-whirled numbs and scrolls, numbs and scrolls. That's part of why I like this platform and its long form content. Thanks for reading and stopping by.
Thanks Taylor, really appreciate this comment. It's so true. I mean I do think people care deep down but our capacity to navigate online relationships is not meant to be a replacement for our smaller tribes and communities and can become a vast time waste.
Loved this! Well said.
Thanks April
My pleasure 😊
The big illusion in all this internet thing is the fooling around with desires, wishes, hopes, and feelings. Actually, it’s what I would expect in an S/M club. No, there is no such thing as a "social network" or even "friends." It’s camouflage. And unfortunately, it isn’t as easy as saying, "If you don't like it, leave it"—because, over the years, more and more real friends have been lost to the system. They had to take on several jobs to pay their bills, and often, the only way to keep in contact with them was via digital illusion.
Did I like that? Not at all. It was just how digital times changed human interaction. And it feels like it’s getting worse: the anonymity that allows fools to spread their hate and stupidity is infecting the real world and real interactions. Since the COVID experiment, mistrust and fear have been written on the sad faces of far too many people.
So let's pray that this era will pass by, just like the era of digital wristwatches did.
If you want to read more: https://open.substack.com/pub/vigorcalma/p/snake-pit-internet?r=4r7rff&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
(But I guess it's not new to you at all. ;) Have a great day!)
Yes, it's a black hole, literally. Agreed, it creates more loneliness disguised as connection. True desires get buried and covered up with confusion.
Yes to all of this. This is exactly why I titled my album Ghost In The Machine - it’s grown into even more reasons since then but I think we talked about it months ago when I saw your poetry video with you appearing as ghost. I think you were the first person in the “digital world” I disclosed that to lol. It was just too serendipitous.
Another “jolt” I had in this noticing (aside from the censorship) came when I lived in TN and a bad tornado came through. It hit me that at that time in my life, the people I interacted with most were all online and far away. If SHFT, no one online is gonna be there to help you in real life. All of that is rendered obsolete. It wasn’t long after that that I did a digital detox and luckily made some life changes in prioritizing in person connection over every other form. Cuz you’re right, for literally any reason, this illusory world within an illusory world can vanish without explanation or warning. Thanks for this piece. 🙏❤️
I remember us talking about that and you are so right. I've been trying to find off line community but that has only partially come into fruition, a work in progress.
Most definitely a process and we’ve all got diff pathways, I found mine here through hitting open mics like a mf. Have you checked out self reliance festival? Idk when their next one is but they’re out close to you - good ppl, I loved it when I lived there 🙏
I haven't yet but I definitely plan on going!
Tell Nicole Sauce and John Willis hi for me!! 🙏
Pretty much. I got banned on Telegram for 'spam'. I reported it, they did nothing. I can no longer comment in groups or message people who haven't got me saved in their address book. Did they think I would stop caring about the truth? Actually it just freed me up from a lot of tiresome arguments.
Hi Angela: I came to Substack because I found myself teetering on the edge of cynicism, something I have managed to avoid for the entirety of my life. With the exception of membership in some bulletin boards for very specialized interests, with selective membership requirements, I’ve never been a “social media” person. This is my first foray into an open forum.
Here’s what’s ironic about your post: I had reached the brink of cynicism as a result of some interactions with REAL people, in REAL life, who turned out to be not as “REAL” as they represented themselves to be. Betrayal of trust by “REAL” people REALLY hurts. I needed to interact with some people who are complete strangers, and find someone whom I could believe is at least willing to tell the truth.
You might think that’s weird, or crazy, or deluded. I mean, how is it more likely to find an honest person on the friggin’ Interweb than someone you can see and touch and feel in person, right?
All I can tell you is that I can do it. Given enough time, and enough communication, I can tell. I’m in my eighth decade of life on planet Earth, and I know how to pay attention. In real life, people can say things that are easier to believe under certain circumstances, especially in one in which there is an inherent presumption of honesty and trust. Unfortunately, one of those contexts is one wherein religiosity can masquerade as spirituality. I’m not a religious person, so I’m unfamiliar with the ways in which religion can be disguised as spirituality. Color me considerably more experienced in that area now. A sudden unwillingness to communicate is a dead giveaway.
Anyhow, my first attempt at honest discussion with another Substackian humanoid blew up because honest discussion turned out to be NOT what that individual wanted. You can’t have an honest discussion with people who are more interested in insisting that you mean what they need you to mean than in understanding what you actually mean.
That wasn’t exactly a confidence builder in my quest to avoid cynicism, but I persisted. I still clung to the hope that I could find some folks who can communicate honestly, and above all, are able to accept kindness, and reciprocate. It paid off. There are some intelligent, funny, insightful, articulate people here, who also know how to act like civilized people who genuinely are interested in communicating honestly; some basically decent people. And there even some genuinely spiritual people, by which I mean they have an awareness of the interconnectedness of all things. FYI, It’s not a superstitious concept in my usage of the term. I’m a scientist, not a mystic or supernaturalist.
I don’t have any delusions that these relationships are anything more than just that—people who are willing to share what they think, and are as interested in understanding what I have to say as they are in my understanding what they have to say. That’s all. I realize that we may never meet face to face, but that doesn’t make my my communication with them any less honest or any less meaningful. People matter to me, and relationships have meaning because of the intangible properties exchanged by those involved. Truth and honesty are intangible. Feelings are intangible. Kindness is intangible. Listening and understanding are intangible. All of those are things I have exchanged with people here. It’s NOT “not REAL”.
So, while it’s true that some or even all of the people I’ve “met” here are folks I may never meet in person, it’s nonetheless true that some of them, to the extent that you can know anyone through this kind of interaction, are people I would like to meet. And that’s a far cry from teetering on the edge of cynicism. 😎💟🙏
Hello. It's hard not to be a cynic in this world, online and in real life, so I maintain healthy skepticism until I can determine the nature of a relationship and if it is right for me to maintain an exchange as each interaction is an energy expedenditure and must be assessed from a time-value-expense of said energy in any given moment. You're right that REAL life people can be just as "fake" but it's easier to recognize faster without weeding through limited social media interactions. Both have their place but the issue with the online is when it becomes the only social....if you need a friend to come over that person on the internet is probably not going to drive over and help you out. We get lost inside the black mirror if we're not careful and then poof if the internet is gone so do all of those "relationships." Not every interaction is going to be a thoughtful exchange, got to take it or leave it and keep on moving. Substack is the nicest option I've found. Thanks for reading and stopping by!
Angela: Thanks for your reply. Ya gotta do what works for you. 💟
“The black mirror” is a term that’s new to me. Is that yours? It’s vividly poetic, although I’m not sure I clearly see the analogy or its full implication. I infer that you mean Intertubes “relationships” are ephemeral, and can go dark in an instant if the electronic channel evaporates in a “poof”.
You’re not wrong about that…except that I still believe the people on the other end of this channel are real. The ideas they share are as real to me as if they had spoken them directly to my ears. I believe the feelings they write about are real. In fact, I’m quite sure that some of the things folks have said to me here are things they would never have said in “real life” to a stranger they had known for so short a time, and the same is true in reverse.
It’s true that the inherent insulation of this medium doesn’t provide the high-touch connection you can get in real-life face time, but in another sense if provides a kind of protection that enables folks to drop their guard and be more open without fear of, say, physical assault…or any of the other negative or intimidating aspects of directly interacting with people whose intentions are…um, less than benign.
The truth is that I’m no threat to anyone, especially in person, but no one knows that until they know me. That potential threat is erased here. We have mute and block.
FYI, I do have peeps who will drop everything and rush over to help, as well as lifelong friends with whom I can share just about anything. But there’s something attractive about finding some simpatico in unguarded honesty with complete strangers who understand that there’s nothing else I want from them except their honest reflections, based only on what comes to them from the words I write.
The thing is, I pretty much know what to expect from the folks with whom I already have long-standing relationships. They have a more complete picture of who I am. To be clear, I’m not inclined to be cynical about them.
By contrast, the faux-spiritual folks with whom I felt some hurt were not folks with whom I have any significant history. The hurt is REAL; the “betrayal” thing is a derivative…a story, an interpretation of the hurt. I feel hurt; I think “betrayed”. I don’t invest much in the “betrayal” story; that part is made up. The part I need to understand is the hurt.
Anyhow, it was important to me to learn more about my interaction with strangers, not with people I know well, and who know me well. This whole Substack thing is an adventure—an exploration. I’m looking for folks who say things I don’t expect. I already know that it’s going to take a time investment to find some interesting minds who have different perspectives—ones I haven’t thought of. In the process, I’m honing my communication-with-strangers skills.
I thought about what I wrote after I posted, later in the day, and it occurred to me that I might not have done a very good job communicating where I’m coming from. It’s sort of like you’re saying, “I love vanilla ice cream”, and I’m saying “A hydraulic press can be very helpful in certain applications.” We’re coming from two very different places.
But I left my comments up anyway. Curiosity. I thought you might realize that I wasn’t contradicting you, and you might see something in it that conveyed my perspective. Looks like you kinda did.
Truth be told, I hope you’re never in the place I was in, the notorious Teetering On The Brink Of Cynicism™. It’s not a fun place to be. Thanks again for your reply. 😎
Rocking good stuff!
Thanks Dennis
What a fantastic article! Rarely do I reply to anything I read and what you wrote got me thinking. A few people will comment … I see some below who take the time and care enough to do so … but how many read and just say nothing so that the isolation continues? The author has to gauge if their words meant anything by the number of “thumbs up” or “likes” or “restacks”. Well, you affected me and I deeply thank you for this.
Thank you for a meaningful comment. Honestly, this means a lot. I write with the goal to impact critical thinking and unique ways of considering topics beyond what we assume as a society as the only way. And you're right, I know people will message me in private but never comment or interact with my posts directly....the thumbs up can be a superficial engagement or a true symbol of support and an opportunity to connect as it's one of the few measurements...but some also begin to write inauthentically as persuasion to gain the thumbs up instead of letting the right people find their way there. Isolation is the true plague of our time.
Unfortunately, like the spent fuel of our modern lives that sit in landfills now, you're replaceable. Go away. Go away mad. They don't care. There's another to take your place. And they're just as replaceable as you.
As far as caring, the illusion...remember, your presence is just entertainment to others. If you don't entertain, you're invisible. And if you garner attention, it better be the right attention. And what's right now may not be in a month.
well said and sadly true
1000000000% YES to all of this
Indeed. Well said my friend
thanks Meredith
Now that's an explanation....I apologize, yes I am "advanced," but more so ME. Literal(ly)........how much time ya got? 😏. Thanks for clarification on sumthin like innuendo type,,,,,type ⌨️👇....I care tho, so it's still more than no one...🫶
I care about the future of humanity. My son, family iz gonna be part of such when I'm gone and well it's the respectful thang for this gift we get, we call life. I believe there's more after this body wears out, but that's no excuse for me to waste time and not give a shit about who comes next. Plus I believe we carry decisions with and trauma , the good the "negative" becomes a trait(s) passed thru DNA. Children don't ask to be born i don't think(more to that possibly too, but proving such I cannot). I was born, grew up with my surroundings, forced(probably too strong a word) interactions, and learned as I go, sooooo....Be very carefully when judging me because I am happy, respectful, authentic, loving, and wit good intentions in life.....So nobody cares sucks as a title in my opinion, but to each their own. Was an excellent read. Thank U....🙏🌬️💞
No One Cares is an innuendo for the digital realm as it is No One...and the robotic nature it can facilitate by sucking people further into apathy and isolation from the real world... and molding people into behaviors they would not ordinarily exhibit in face to face exchanges. And people sit in fears worried what people think...and they don't...the short paced attention spans in the unsocial-social-media-whirled numbs and scrolls, numbs and scrolls. That's part of why I like this platform and its long form content. Thanks for reading and stopping by.
Thanks Taylor, really appreciate this comment. It's so true. I mean I do think people care deep down but our capacity to navigate online relationships is not meant to be a replacement for our smaller tribes and communities and can become a vast time waste.