If you’re like me and you came to recognize a certain courage lived inside of you and rose up as the mass formation psychosis and delusion of the 2020 “scamdemic” came in to fruition, then you may recognize that you have a similar story to this one from your past waiting to be remembered.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? In this story and in its powerfully symbolic nature, the egg came first.
As a recent chicken owner, the theme of eggs keeps coming up for me and this brought back a memory that has stayed with me throughout life and most definitely been a defining moment.
I can’t remember exactly how old I was, but I was a child in the 80’s. No one cared about protecting your “safety” back then and backyard trampolines were wonderfully dangerous. Supervision was gloriously absent.
I was with three older friends at the time and they asked me if I wanted to play a game. The game was called “crack the egg.” One person is the jumper and the other three sit on the trampoline with their legs crisscrossed while holding onto each foot. You lose if you let-go of your feet and crack open the egg.
I always knew I was stubborn and strong willed, but this day I became one with the egg, humpty-dumpty had nothing on me.
The jumper began jumping, oh-my, this is an interesting sensation I remember as my bottom sprung up off the trampoline and I swayed left and right and every direction as he jumped harder and harder to see who was going to crack first and who would be left standing.
One cracked, then another, but I was not going to break. Eye-to-eye I see the determination in the jumper to not stop until every last egg was cracked and there was irritation that I had already won the game, but no that wasn’t enough for me to just win, I had begun a deeper mission, the underdog with something to prove…to myself.
And then it happened, I flipped off the trampoline, my nose hit the metal springs on the way off, but I never broke, this egg did not crack.
A bloody nose ensued and I think deep down I had never been prouder of myself.
To this day when someone calls me tenacious, I remember this story and think to myself, you have no idea.
I’ve analyzed this story many ways, reflecting on its meaning, but ultimately, I know it prepared me for many trials and tribulations in life that would require a stubborn heart, tenacious spirit and courageous soul.
Fast forward to 2020, I’m not suffocating myself in a chemically sprayed or dirty piece of cloth to make people feel comfortable inside their fearful ignorance. Breathing is essential and I shall take deep gulps because breath is life.
I remember standing in line at the post office to pick up an international package, the lady yells, ma’am you have to wear a mask. Do I though? Are you the boss of me? Did you somehow go back in time, adopt me and become guardian over my health and life? NO. She said, “I’m going to call the cops,” and while others stare at me wondering how I might respond, the nervous energy and tension in the room was looming.
I calmly said, “go ahead,” I have a right to be served and I do not “have” to wear anything. I never felt calmer and surer of myself than in that moment. Irritated, she said, fine I’ll bring your package outside. I then proceeded to get my mail without having to stand in the long line.
I remembered the egg, do not crack, know yourself, know your strength, know your rights, be strong.
Throughout history, the egg has been a symbol for many things, usually seen in a positive light representing prosperity, fertility, life, birth, rebirth. Sometimes a broken egg is said to represent failure, brokenness in dreams that lie dormant and not made manifest, or an omen.
The cosmic egg as representation of the primordial womb of the Mother Goddess has been depicted in many creation stories. Polarization brought forth as life emerges and the balance of opposites is sought. The alchemical imagery of the egg in esoterica hints at potentialities waiting to be birthed from inside the protective shell.
I could contemplate and research all of the meanings, but ultimately life brings forth individual experiences as teachers that only can be de-coded by the person inside the experience. To me, the egg represents the wholeness of being protected inside an outer shell, in the same way our bodies are an outer shell for the soul-energies-spark-consciousness-life that resides inside as we animate and/or are animated by something greater than ourselves.
What would it have meant if I had cracked that day? I don’t know.
Does the outer shell represent the egoic nature of the outer personality where the true self is waiting to be cracked open and un-done? Perhaps.
But what I know for me to be true is that there is something sacred inside of stubbornness. It’s about knowing ourselves and protecting that, it’s about keeping the inner child’s innocence intact, and it’s a sort of sovereign soul nourishment. The steadfastness of knowing myself, knowing that I have the power to protect myself, my inner true self, and the determination to display that outer strength in that moment as a young girl has propelled me into a much more individuated version of myself.
I became a woman who has overcome, persevered and found out that sometimes there is profound satisfaction in the blood that pours from us (literally or figuratively) in moments that test and define us. The unbroken egg colored red from a heart that cannot be broken, ultimately because it is not afraid to break and that is what keeps it whole, the paradox at play.
So here I am now, collecting eggs from my chickens many years later, remembering that life will try to crack us open, but we are stronger than we know, that prosperity is all around us, that nature provides, that resiliency is at our core and that beauty resides even in the bloody mess of being. Each day I learn more about how to care for the chickens, how to be a guardian for them and each day I find new parts of myself. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m doing it. I figure it out as I go, I learn and grow. I put myself inside situations that are uncomfortable, I test the edge to see if I will crack this time or find new strengths, new insights, new parts of myself born from the possibility that this shell can break in a single fall.
Perhaps it is the fragility of knowing that our exterior is not impermeable that tension breathes new life from the inside out. I still enjoy jumping on a trampoline, stirring the primordial fire, letting the blood flow and the oxygen ignite new ideas. I plop down and hop back up remembering that sometimes life is like the game, crack-the-egg, where exciting moments are meshed with a strong will.
What is something in your life that has been one of those defining moments? Taking time to reflect on this can be really beneficial for insight into who we are and why we are that way. What experiences have served you throughout life in ways you never imagined? Share your story, I’d love to read it and I know many others would too, as it is in sharing this myself that my intention is for it to spark something in you too.
Be Eggscellent and don’t let anyone break you.
With love,
~ Angela
Angela, you have street smarts and survival skills. Trampoline bounces can as you found bruise but your egg 🥚 didn’t. The game reminds me of red rover where update another to do something. There was ice in a pond, but one section 2-3 feet wide never froze. We dared each other to leap with hockey skates over to the other side. If you didn’t make the jump you got wet or cut by ice and cold. No more crazy than people destroying others today senseless actions of humanity gone astray. The egg is cracked and the yolk is on us with a big mess in the world to clean up.
I love your trampoline story😂 The egg symbolism reminds me of the high priestess! On the Marseilles tarot card she guards an egg! So much potential inside that egg💜