The internet is a Parrot’s Paradise: Coaches, Influencers and Gurus

Is there a template for that?

I’ll cut to the chase, I’m sick of the talking heads.

The internet has become the new Project Mockingbird (google it if you don’t know what that is), I call it the Parrot’s Paradise.

When I scroll through the interwebs it’s like being in a nightmare, everyone is selling you the latest and greatest magic pill, only you don’t get the horrific disclaimers like the grotesque pharmaceutical commercials that are forced to provide in their advertising. It's a get rich quick distorted law of attraction bullshit haven of hogwash.

It's so boring…and predictable.

I can assure you many of the claims made are outlandish and false. The high-ticket offer is for the “special ones” willing to commit to…..wasting their time and money. The justification of unreasonable rates that usually isn’t an equal value exchange has sky-rocketed. There is a lot of regurgitation of material that is not fully understood and embodied, maybe someone watched one webinar or read one book and suddenly they are the expert trying to sell you that they have the answers to propel you in business. A string of copy-cats lacking authenticity and integrity have lost touch with reality, with heart, with any remembrance of “why” they are doing what they are doing.

Like any industry, these smoke-and-mirror tactics give those a bad name that are genuinely putting in the effort to help others from a more loving and grounded place.

I get it, the “models” or “templates” work to sway the masses like a fish on a hook, who’s going to bite? Which audience is going to be the most profitable?  Which tagline is going to produce the greatest ROI? Which color will evoke the desired emotion? Which subliminal or symbol will reach inside the heart and convince the consumer to consume?

NEWSFLASH: INTEGRITY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING AND CREATIVITY HAS DIED, THERE WILL BE NO FUNERAL BECAUSE EMOTIONS ARE FORBIDDEN!

As noted above, all of those things that are part of advertising can also be done consciously and benevolently, it’s just usually not. I’ve worked in advertising for a long time and in a way, whether you have a business or not, everyone is always advertising and marketing something, themselves, but there are always two sides, and sometimes it seems the scales have tipped too far in a very cringe direction.

The censorship of the internet makes people hold back, bite their tongues, compromise their message and fear losing their business or creations because that’s now the reality of the world we live in, but the corporate gains that override “doing the right thing” for the customer’s needs is now just the coaches or creative influencers game…game of same.

All the coaches are doing is playing to a pain point and selling you the solution, only most of the time the pain point isn’t really real, they’ve just convinced you that you have a problem and they can solve it because when played to an emotional plea in the name of profit,  it speaks to those in moments of vulnerability and despair.

Of course there is always an exception, there are people doing great in life seeking to grow and expand their capacity, depth and/or skills too, maybe starting a new business or embarking on a new endeavor where having a mentor or coach is truly worthwhile. I support having quality mentors and coaches that can genuinely help you, who have been there, who have walked the same path you’re on and can help you avoid some pitfalls.

There are some awesome and genuine coaches, influencers and gurus (this one is a maybe) out there with a heartfelt desire to serve others from their own experiences, knowledge and expertise, but the truth is, most of them are charlatans.

I’ve been on both sides of this coin and I get the popularity of it, I can see how people think they are helping sometimes and have pure intentions. I commend people for trying new things. I write this as an invitation, if you are a coach, mentor, teacher, influencer of some kind, to remember your why, to seek to maintain integrity and authenticity above all else…this brings about real prosperity, the kind that lives in the treasure chest of the heart.

In the meantime, stay vigilant out there as the internet advertising trolls have become a hodge podge of bad new age spirituality, toxic positivity, and consumerist focused manifestation poppycock. 

Influencers who influence by creating a “scene” with products given to them to promote a desire, a distraction, a dollar….products they can’t vouch for, don’t like and wouldn’t have purchased otherwise.

Coaches who coach, but don’t have the real wisdom to back what they are coaching on, just the gift of gab being wasted….prosperity gospel hidden under the moniker of business.

Self-proclaimed gurus creating cults purely from an egotistical aspect of validation and a proclivity for projection…spiritual grandiosity.

NEWFLASH: IT’S NOT REAL LIFE

Who’s influencing you? What have they actually done with their life other than influence others to buy what they are influencing to keep making it look like they have created something other than the charade of influence in………. what, huh? It doesn’t make sense because it doesn’t make sense.

What if you don’t need to change anything?
What if that scheme is just a scheme?
What if that template is boxing you in and closing you off from your greater potential?
What if that funnel is funneling you down a rabbit hole?
What if that coach is cringe?
What if that influencer is just being influenced?
What if that guru is really goo…a gooey mess hiding behind a linen bathrobe?

Listen, I get it, templates can be useful tools at times to expand reach and those selling them will all tell you to “make it your own” by adding your own “touch.” It’s still out of control, because your unique individual experience has given you gifts that don’t fit in a template, that can’t be funneled in a funnel and are so much more meaningful to truly helping touch the hearts of others than following a formula.

There is a gift in this and the gift is that it’s really easy to discern who is different and who is genuine! Can you spot them, I bet you can? Scroll for a day and notice what feels like copy and paste versus what feels like someone expressing from a more genuine place?

And heaven help us with ChatGPT because that amplifies this insanity to a whole other level of fraud, fakeness and frightfulness…like being inside a harry potter film where the ghosts inside the frames talk, but they are all just ghosts. It’s probably going to get harder for people to discern unless coming from a really centered and grounded way of being. Let’s try to keep our humaness and be not like a bot, shall we?

If you’re going to use a template, don’t do it to just be tempting, to taunt someone into transaction.

If you’re going to use a funnel, don’t do it to lure someone in to a scheme just to gain another follower or sale.

Don’t make claims you can’t back up.
Don’t give false promises that can’t guarantee results.
Don’t give your creativity away for the sake of easiness to sway.
Don’t think your dreams can’t be made if you don’t follow a formula in someone else’s brigade.

Follow your heart, you can’t go wrong, you are the magic, you are the song.
Follow your desires that light you up, you are what shines, you can rise from the muck.
Follow your purpose, make a plan, you’re been given a destiny to act upon and it is in the palm of your hands…and it’s not the machine you’re holding that’s making demands but something greater to understand.

The media mocks
the parrot’s parrot
emotions are harnessed
they all dangle a carrot
but you are creative
you have wisdom inside
don’t follow their call
time to be your own guide
what makes you, you?
what lights you up?
the answers are inside
only you can fill the cup

With love, weirdness and bot disdain,

Angela
The Irrational Sage, angelamorris.com