Letting go of things we love

what a tree taught me about life

So often in the “self help” space there is talk of letting go of distractions or things that don’t serve us anymore, but I have learned that sometimes we must also let go of things we love too.

I have a beautiful tree in my yard, it is old and prestigious. I write this story in honor of its beauty, protective quality and in gratitude for its greeting as the first thing I see everytime I pull into my driveway. I’ve watched the way its leaves dance in shadows on the fence. I’ve been in awe of its perfect grand canopy as I watch the sunsets. I’ve been mesemerized by how it reflects in the pool in a way that reminds me how our own reflections are ever changing, subtly flowing like a gentle breezes rippling the water.

The last thing I want to do is harm this tree, chop it down or let it go. I feel a sense of responsibility for this tree and reverence for its part on the land, for its connection to the other trees, animals and nature that is nourishes…and yet it must go.

New to my current home, the past two years here I’ve spent entirely too much time scooping leaves out of the pool, sweeping leaves on the porch, and a blanket of never ending leaves seem to come out of nowhere everytime the wind blows, which is often. I watch critters of all kinds ride on the leaves in the pool like little sailboats and I scoop up frogs in my palm and take them to a safer spot on the property. The reality is I am not serving myself, nor my home, with the amount of time it is taking me to maintain the fence, pool and deck constantly sweeping and scooping from the departing leaves, so I decided it will be concluding its journey.

I write this to honor the tree and I plan to show it appreciation by burning its limbs, making art and giving it a giant tree-hug as it departs. It breaks my heart and yet I know it will free up time and energy. Maybe in a way it’s ready to go and I’m here to help it transition on the journey of life as all things must do. So often we forget that in the beauty of life, we are also part of the desctructive process and recognizing this intentionally and with appreciation for nature and our connection to it can help us find harmony in times where decisions are difficult.

Sometimes we love something but it’s impeding our priorities. Sometimes we love an outfit but it no longer fits (not just in the physical sense) who we are, as we have changed. Sometimes people we care deeply for are no longer in resonance with how we have changed or grown and this stifles our progress. Sometimes we get stuck in a home or comfortable way of being that becomes a justification for not showing up for ourselves or in genuine service to others. Simply put, sometimes our job, habits, circumstances, people, places, or things, that we enjoy and love might need to be transcended, let go and/or transmuted for a multitude of reasons that may or not benefit both sides, but are inevitable to the cycle of life and its ever changing nature. Sometimes the most beautiful things in our life are no longer aligned or in resonance with the next best version of ourselves.

I don’t make this decision with a disregard or selfishness to my own comforts but with self awareness and conscientiousness for its impact in my daily life. To let go of a focal point in order to be more focused is sometimes a necessity in the reality of life where making hard choices are ever present and require a process of heart, mind and soul connection.

To make conscious decisions when these opportunities present themselves to us is important. We must ask ourselves am I over-accomodating a situation or person and if so, why? Is there a way to maintain a relationship or situation in a harmonious way through boundaries and self-exploration or am I holding on to something out of fear of letting it go, fear of change, fear of what lives on the other side, or an unwillingness to acknowledge my part in being the reason why something must end and how that gives real tangibility to reality. What if, instead, we could see the beauty in our role in this process and allow this cycle to be an ally to the co-creative process of life?

As the saying goes, if you love something, you must set it free. The more time we take to truly know ourselves, the more we can remove distractions and the beautiful wonderful things in our life that were there for us in the right season, but must be set free for us to move forward and into the next turn on the path.