FIXATING ON THE FICTION

You can’t fight what isn’t real, peeling back the pills

The “evil” ones are not elite, they are not anything above you, they are lost in the inversion of the shadow buried in the root chakra, they’ve lost touch what is right side up…or at least it seems that way. I don’t know them personally, so all I can go by is what I observe by what is shown.

When you flip the inversion upright in your own life and allow the channel of energy to flow through you, for love to move you, for wisdom to seep out of your bones like nectar oozes from a tree trunk, you begin to see that there are other ways to skin a cat (please don’t skin a cat), other ways to become a warrior than what history books and movies portray as fact.

You can’t fight something that is fiction, as it is not “real,” meaning it holds no substance.

That being said, part of awakening is allowing righteous anger to rise up out of you, it’s probably been in storage for some time wondering when you would come and let it out. This rises up when you realize you’ve been bamboozled by the system and start to go down rabbit holes and recognize the lies you’ve been told…bought and sold.

First you think you can fight the system or vote harder; you realize ultimately, this is a spiritual battle but point the finger at “they” instead of inwardly.  You might think, I’m just one person what can I do, we must ban together in a revolution. You might seek arbitration for injury (aka pHARMa), sign petitions, go to rallies…the belief that “if we just had someone “better” in office, this time my guy is going to make a change…the same story, the same outcome, the same song on the record player except the noose gets tighter along the way.

As Yuri Bezmenov said, “The battle for freedom is fought, not on the battlefield, but in the hearts and minds of individuals. The greatest threat to democracy is not external, but internal. The enemy within is more dangerous than any external threat. The price of liberty is personal responsibility. The power of fear is the greatest weapon.”

Righteous anger is all part of the process of awakening, not bad or good, just a stepping stone.  Everything has its place and time. Everyone walks through each step in their own way and at their own pace.

To understand this we must peel back the pills a little bit.

The blue pill is someone who is ignorant to the truth of reality, unable to see with spiritual vision, unaware that there is evil in the world or unseen forces operating as influence, an antagonist in the story, karmic laws, cause and effect playing out that their own choices are also contributing to unknowingly. Ignorance is not bliss, but ignorance is an important part of the story and when you deny your own, you deny the ability to hold compassion for others and where they are (or where we assume, often incorrectly, them to be).

The red pill is the intellectual aspect of “waking up.” You still think the system is valid and want to fight or resist all of the injustice you are uncovering. This is purely intellectual as rights don’t come from the system (you can’t be saved by the thing that you want to be saved from) and thus, perhaps the red pill is a stop over where one has not yet realized they can’t “intellectualize the way.”  The red pill is just the other side of blue pill, still wrapped up inside the same overarching and underpinned beliefs, two wings on the same bird, two sides of the same coin, yet the red pill must be swalled to keep moving forward as it is where you begin to see areas where you’ve been ignorant come to surface in a form of revelation.

The black bill is, essentially, an addiction to information without any processing, without taking the information and doing something with it. What use is it to listen to the same thing over and over again by a different voice, a different channel, if you aren’t going to do any inner work, contemplation or INNER solution seeking once made aware of it?

If you don’t integrate and do the inner work then this is when people become depressed, delusional, lost in victimhood, hopeless, even spiritual bypassing and grandiosity as a form of escapism. It’s important to talk about because it can be very dark, it’s like getting caught in the spin cycle of a dark night of the soul, but the night light went out.

The egregore of control wants truthers outraged and talking about things, that’s part of the so called “plan” etched into the fabric of our everyday lives through consent and the corroboration of misery. It’s a sort of negtive confirmation bias.  It’s also part of awakening, to realize that many phases of awakening still feed the very thing you don’t want, usually even more so, because you are aware of it.

If you are caught in the victim consciousness of the “black pill” then you may be in an egoic cycle of despair. Many "seekers" and truther's get stuck in this phase, looking for answers purely through logic, outer validation or proof that they are a victim, that someone is doing this TO them, that someone needs to do something. These pursuits are based on thinking alone, it’s a time where the heart is left out or hardens, and reason tries to think up all the ways to get ourselves “out of something,” becoming looped inside the doom-gloom scenarios unable to see the larger picture that everything might not be broken in the way you think.

The black pilled have lost trust in the Universe, only able to see the bad or the world as “out to get you,” but by being open to seeing both sides of the equation and look at your own role in it, you can mend the schism. Without mending, you may find yourself falling into another two sided coin, solipsism and nihilism, which is a trap door that holds consciousness hostage. The world wants you to think in terms of lack and limitation, thus it’s easy to get wrapped into the black pill phenomenon and become unable to see there is something on the other side, other choices available to us if we can transcend the illusion of there only being two.

There are always forces at work willing to deceive, distract, deny, direct your path….and there is always a counter-balance, a remedy, a solution, a way to respond instead of react…even the mistakes we make as we go through all of this usually gives us something we need, even if we don’t like it or wish we hadn’t had to go through it.

The ugly truth is, there is no one pill that will cure you of the challenges of this world, nor offer up the whole truth.  Extremes of black and white thinking is a result of the division promoted throughout our lives. If you want unity on the outside then there has to be an inner-union, integration, grounding. You have to realize that the more you do the inner-work the more your outer world changes.  The more you examine your part in the whole, the more whole you become.

Deeper awakening comes from seeking the light through the darkness, not getting caught in the outward minutia but in seeing inside yourself that which needs to be looked at. This level of awareness means you will make different choices than the blue pill, red pill, black pill versions of you and move into a higher-minded, grounded, heart-centered way.

Each level of being “pilled” into a new perspective of awareness is a reminder that life is so incredibly simple, yet complex. These rites of passages seem ever continuing, a sort of ongoing initiation until you finally see that the weighing of the heart against a feather is an expansion of love and a lightness of being for the head and heart can be enemies or allies, united or divided, held together with substance or separated with illusion…truth or fiction.

The black pill feeds the collective egregore by perpetuating it, attempting to awaken people by pushing the fear mongering agenda that they don’t want onto others, bringing more attention, and thus fuel, onto the egregore and the collective unconscious that feeds it.

It’s a slipper slope of awareness and burying your head in the sand. When you realize something it’s normal to want to shout it out. I’m not immune from these same steps, I definitely went through them and have learned some hard lessons, yet I can see the value in why things unfolded the way they did.

The black pill ends up fueling even more what is despised, thus another revelation to face. The awakening process is difficult, it’s painful, it shatters reality and if you find yourself here, it is imperative to pull yourself away from the fear mongering apocalyptic warnings and clear your mind. Spend time with people or doing things that you love. Take a week, a month, whatever you need to gain perspetive by backing away for a bit.

Archetypal forces play out unconsciously in everyone’s lives, including the layers of awakening.

You get to take all that anger and either project it out, be consumed by it, or let it be fuel for your life to open you up in ways you never thought possible.

You can come out the other side, you can reclaim your power and recognize that you are a living man or woman, not a slave to the system. Your purpose here is to have experiences, to love, to live, to create, not get sucked into the black hole of things out there, real or imagined, things out of your control and out of your immediate sphere of life, of those you love…. you alone aren’t going to take down a system that serves a purpose, that is there for people not ready to take responsibility for their lives. Until everyone can reach a level of self responsibility, we have to recognize what is, perhaps there is room for all of it to reside in the melting pot of life. Either way, paths are diverging and I don’t think anyone will ever have it all “figured out” because that is all mind and leaves out the beauty and wondrousness of possibility that is always present in the mystery.

The contrast makes way for illumination, greater consciousness, deeper self-awareness and the inevitable, and most poignant realization of all that you know nothing and everything, that there is a beautiful paradox at play, that the Laws that govern the Universe are written in your heart and you have a purpose here that goes far beyond what you think or do. The contrast is an invitation for the alchemical union to unfold, for a true merging of opposites to commit.

When you begin to move past the black-pill phase you start to wake up from the heart, not just the mind. You realize there is nothing to get “out of” but that this whole time it was about returning home, that it was an inside job, just not the one you were focused on.

Even once you transcend the black pill and move on to the next aspect of individuation and self-realization, things will come up again that you thought had healed, but present another nugget inside that needs examination.  You might get “caught up” for a moment in what the old you would do in a scenario or you might have new revelations that completely re-write a held belief. You may even recognize that you are red pilled in one area of life and black pilled in another, that you don’t have it all figured out…humility is always there ready to pop out and say, boo!

The deeper you are willing to go, the more aware you become, the faster you can move through these situations and remain true to yourself, sovereign.

There’s also a time and place to defend yourself. The non-aggression principle doesn’t deny that being capable of violence isn’t necessary. To think this isn’t a possibility inside a world of duality is to ignore the evil that everyone is capable of inciting. We, must defend and prepare ourselves against the enemy when necessary as sovereign individuals seeking peace and freedom. Remember, sometimes, you are the Divine intervention…we are each given the ability to act for a reason, not remain passive, hoping someone else will fix anything. It is preperation that decreases fear, prepare for the worst, expect the best, live your most wonderful life along the way.

Yes, it’s easy to just say “they” are evil and that you are good, but this is not true.

When I embarked upon graduate school to study forensics, it stemmed from a deep desire to know how this is possible, how can someone harm another, especially that which is most innocent.

It took me years to recognize that there is comfort in the shadow, that to prey on innocence is a sort of murdering of the inner child, that someone’s own inner child may have been stomped on in order for there to be choices made that harm another sentient life, this can be unconscious or by conscious choice. I don’t say this to condone it, there should be retribution and these things are far more important than the amount of money and time wasted on things like parking tickets, that are just a form of theft. If there is no victim there is no crime.

The fiction lives inside statutes and codes, what is real life presents itself in how we interact with each other on a human-level. Nature always corrects itself, because it is the harmonizer, and as such, choices made bring consequences, good or bad, for that choice. People like to try to hide their inner turmoil, which then manifest in other patterns, but there is no need to hide inner peace. To try to combat a system that is doing what it was created to do is like going to the bar and expecting not to be offered a drink. Man forgets the greater Universal laws always at play, then thinks he can do better, which is a farce.

It’s no coincidence that the “system,” be it entertainment or government, wants to kill the natural, numb the instincts that are there to guide us, leave us in a form of escapism of reality instead of experiencing it…. all of it. The system functions as an inversion, not on truth. Thus, the numbing out of society is inevitable because deep inside an inner conflict resides.

You can’t fight what isn’t real. This took me a while to “innerstand.”
A lot of “freedom fighters” and “truthers” get stuck inside this. The system is fiction. The government (mind-control) is not living.

Yes, there are tools and processes to navigate the fiction, to “move between worlds” so to speak, but if the inner-state of your own being is holding fear, then those tools hold less power.

When I say tools, I mean tools related to learning to navigate the system and/or operate in the private instead of the public. Private is for the living, Public is for the dead. This could also be using tools to find more inner-peace despite the chaos ever-present…like meditation, breathwork, journaling, walking.  

This image below is from Sol Luckman’s post, where he poses the question: Which pill have you taken? Are you willing to admit which one you’ve swallowed? Did the sugar pill go down easier than the bitter one…was one easier to digest?

This is why, the more you awaken to your own soul, the harder it is to support things you once deemed real, or important.

There is always another layer to uncover, there is always something you don’t know.

Loopholes are only necessary when there is something to jump through. What is real, is whole, is substantive and alive, holds the spark of life, needs no loophole…but what is illusory is filled with holes, it seeks the flame from the outside for the fire that isn’t there internally or that has burned out.

Because the fiction operates by the taking of fire and the politicians spew hot air to keep feeding it…why keep giving them a match?

The fiction cannot create, it can only bargain, offer, bully, coerce, threaten. When you don’t know who you are and fear the system, then it can harness that energy from you.

When you go through the process of getting to know yourself, reclaiming sovereignty, unraveling the deeper reasons for the fear (which is an ongoing process) then the bind loosens and you can begin to see through the illusory veil…realizing that you are keeping the tether in place through the belief in it.

Moving from black pill to white pill is like the cornerstone where chaos and order meet, where a portal of something greater reaches out as if to show you how everything fits together as it is and that this dream within a dream holds everything perfectly imperfectly, a place where our imagination dares us to transcend logic, where magic is seen in the ordinary and the beauty of life found everywhere, even old rocks that no one has lifted up to look beneath in a million years.

You can’t change something that isn’t real. You can’t fight an illusion. You can’t alter that which only exists by feeding it your precious prana. You choose to either feed it or you don’t, but there is a choice and it’s in every moment of every day, mind, body, spirit.

The deception of the system is based on these agreements.

The corporation (corpse) in ALL CAPS is not living, it’s not real, it’s a piece of paper.

The system can’t create because it’s not made of substance, not living.

When you observe nature, you are observing the spark of life in harmony with Divine Law. Nature is always finding its balance and creates as it is a part of the Creator.  As a living being, you have the ability to create, to be creative, a creator of your life. 
When you observe the system, you are observing a made-up fiction in dis-harmony with Divine Law. This is why everything they “suggest” or “offer” is anti-nature, anti-life, because it is a dead, it can only take from, deceive.

This is also why the system doesn’t “produce” anything, because it can’t…thus is needs “producers” to take from to feed it…it needs workers to agree to its “mandates” as it lives off the fear and negativity that it projects as true via tactics of false authority and propaganda.

There is a hierarchy in nature that is in order, balance. The system, however, presents the inversion to this as it cannot ever be upright.

The technological age that seeks to make life easier, does anything but that…and it makes it harder to see what of substance, versus just an image.

The visceral, sensorial, beauty of real life, life made manifest through the spark of Divinity, touches us in magnificent, positive and transforming ways.

The system manufactures emotions through illusion and always seeks to elicit the negative expressions like fear and terror for its sustenance.

Once I realized this and started to go through the contemplative steps mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, I started to integrate and piece together the importance joy has in the “spiritual battle” that can only be won by going within and conquering that which blocks the inner vision, in taking steps toward greater presence and allowing the creative essence inside all of us to come forward.

The system doesn’t reward creativity because that is of substance, real, living and as such, the greatest gift you can give yourself and others is that to create something…. make art, even if it’s terrible, poetry, music, dance, crafts, anything really as long as it is from your own soul.

Ultimately, everything we do is a chance to ask ourselves, does this feel expansive or restrictive? Am I fighting a battle that is illusory? Am I focusing, or fixating, on the fiction or the substance of living in greater alignment, peace, balance?

Am I creating the life I want to live or wasting my most valuable currency on something that does not abide by that which is good, of God, of something greater that enlivens and enriches?

Life will challenge us, the system will challenge us, because it is showing us contrast, the antithesis, the anti-nature of what is available to us if we turn away from the dead and turn towards life.

We get to choose every day, in every moment, what that will be….to “get busy living, or get busy dying.”

What will you do with your time on Earth? What will you create? What substance will you make and will you tap into that with which you are made? Will you fixate on that with which you cannot change or that with which you can?

Will you take a stand FOR something that “matters” or against something which can easily shatter by simply turnings towards the other…. turning away from the game at play.

The sun fuels our inner-chi
that gives life to creativity
but if you focus on the fiction
you, too, become illusory
an apparition lost in restriction
unity escapes, leaving only friction
missing the heartbeat of conviction
gathered in co-creation of higher living

Remember, when you start to see through the illusion and it begins to break, the parts of you that believed in it, thought it was real, will shatter too. Beneath it all, the real you patiently waits, layer by layer we get closer to the most authentic version of our being…let it peel back without force…it is in the slowing down that we get there even faster. 

The most courage an individual can have is not in fighting an illusion, fighting for what they “don’t want”, but in standing up for what you do want, for what you do believe in, standing for your values, by becoming what you want to see in the world.

I’m certainly a work in progress, tiny steps towards the best version I can be arises every day, not in a grand presentation or ah-ha moment, but the little decisions that are far different than the me of the past, the me who didn’t know what I now know.

If you are still in the fighting phase of awakening, honor that, just don’t get stuck there forever, because it will leave you depleted, bitter and with regret. It’s a natural place to stop by after a dark night, a revelation, a realization of something in the world that is unjust, unfair, cruel, evil, or that took something from you when you let it…before you knew better. We learn, we make better choices, we can’t go back, but we can move forward creating new language around the stories we tell and, of course, gleaning the blessing and lessons from every defining situation.

Don’t let your happiness be held hostage by your own mind, to do this is to let “they” remain the authority of your life.

There is always another level of awareness beckoning, be not so comfortable thinking you have it all figured out because you don’t.

Be in the world and not of it. Be aware and still love people for their humanness knowing that we can learn something from everyone. Each person has different strengths, interests, experiences, even those not aware, because Spirit works through everything and everyone, not just those that proclaim themselves to be guru…quite the contrary.

The ultimate pill is that you do not have to play the game to win, but you do have to show up for life.

To resist, is to let what you don’t want persist, but to accept what is and change your view, change your questions to what feels more expansive instead of restrictive, is to open up new doors of overcoming obstacles that might be blocking our path… illusions that you can walk through, or around, but overcome, nonetheless.

To win the battle “might” be to show up in a way beyond what you “thought” courage looked like, to step even further outside of just another layer of the status quo.

The system is here to distract you and pull you off your path, it’s everywhere, we’re all affected by it, but the more you know yourself the more you can say NO to all the things that are not for you and focus on what deserves a YES.

Sometimes these distractions are very comfortable and seem good. Instead of beating yourself up when your radar fails and discernment goes awry, observe, take note and move forward with trust in yourself that you can see even more clearly now, that your spiritual vision has been heightened BECAUSE of your mistake in judgement.

We learn to see by not seeing.

When we focus on what we want, we create what we want. When we focus on what we don’t want, we create what we don’t want.

Attention is energy. When you fast you go into autophagy and starve out the bad stuff and leave the good. Think of the system this way, when you don’t give it money, time, attention, energy, you starve it…it cannot sustain.

All of the ridiculous and overly complex systems that pretend they exist for order and safety are really created from those who fear loss of control and the uknown…the truth is that it is fear of that inside the self. It is the lack of inner power, true power, not the false kind, where some seek to gain outer power by attempting control over another. This is why those often in “positions” of authority in the system are truly the most egoic, immoral and weak, meaning they can easily be bought or corrupted, while those that would make great leaders never seek those positions.

There is no need to stay ignorant of things, but the further you zoom out and look at patterns, the easier is to see it’s the same old same old, there is nothing new under the sun.

Knowing this, be mindful of your precious energy and what you’re really feeding.

Keep peeling back the layers and coming in to presence.

Life is magical, don’t let anything take that from you.

Corruption happens by ignorance. The system is kind of like dark magic, it cannot bolster life, only take. The world is full of magicians that have been cloaked by the veil of illusion, bright lights here to create from a place of expansion, joy and sovereignty.

Ask yourself, how long are you going to spend going down rabbit holes? When will you see it’s never ending? Are you spending a balanced amount of time on other things or did you get sucked into the black hole?

I definitely got sucked into the black hole for a while on my journey and sometimes I wonder how I made it out alive, but here I am and so I write this to remind you that everything you need is within you, solutions don’t require permission, and the only thing that is going to save you is you. 

To get caught up too far inside the fiction is to begin to abandon what is real, beautiful and important …and fleeting. The teeter totter of humanity always finds itself lost in extremes, extremes so close to touching they almost do…the paradox of not being able to see that meeting point, the center, the middle ground, the narrow path….it’s just right there on the tip of the tongue, let it pull you in its splendid surrender, let it push you off the edge of the world, let it sink you down, let it left you up, let it turn the chaos ‘round while you remain steady, right side up.

Two books that have make me think along this process are:

MAAT Guiding Principles of Moral living: (Principles of Right Living #23 “For everything there is a time: a time for harmony and a time for anarchy, a time to stand and a time to prepare, a time to study and a time to act, a time of calm and a time of fire, a time of retreat and a time of attack, a time to fight and a time to walk away, a time to stay and a time to leave, a time to win and a time to heal from losses-ane none of these times can change the course of the stars.”

TAO The Full Return to Nature, a study therein naturosophy by Cory Endrulat: “Conquering others takes force. conquering yourself is true strength.” ~ Laozi

There is a time and a season for all things, the key is to be able to sit and discern, is the turmoil justified or is it all in your mind, worry of something left behind, anxiousness for what does not exist.

Are you fighting because you fear, or are you a warrior with the heart held near to that which is real?

Real courage means knowing when to stand, but is the battle you are fighting what you avoid from within or a justifiable battle to extend out a hand?

Are you calling out wrong doings but never looking at your own, are you in a battle with an illusion or are you reaping what was sewn?

All I really know is that I want to be a little better today than yesterday, I want to right wrongs, make choices where I can sleep well and enjoy the ride…some days are easier and more positive, some come with black clouds and thunder…in the end I have to trust myself and take actions that I deem best moment-by-moment, while simultaneously having faith in the Divine plan…resonance will connect what is meant to connect and the rest I can leave on the shelf.

With love, gratitude, a big heart and warrior spirit…may you find your own way on this wild and wonderful journey,

Angela