Everything wrong with society explained by a Litter Box

…because cats know shit

Cats know shit.

And because they know shit, everything that is wrong with modern society can be explained by a litter box.

I poke fun because I’ve done it.

I bought the Kool-Aid.

I signed up for the ridiculousness.

Sometimes toys are fun.

But mostly, modern day toys just break after 3 uses.

Here come the advertisements for cat litter boxes.

I remember 25 years ago giving in and getting one of those electronic litter boxes that claim to save time scooping, keeping the litter sorted and cleaned with less effort.

(if I had a buzzer, I’d press it about here and shout: WRONG)

That litter box was not “SMART.” It tried to rake the litter into a holding bin (kind of like they how they corral people at airports), then smushed all the poop into the little slats where no amount of scrubbing with a toothbrush could get it clean.

These things don’t save time; they eat it under the illusion of saving it.

Fast forward all these years later, now you have a variety of “litter robots,” that you can buy for around the cost of a family cow.

For $500+ dollars you can buy one of these new SMART things (this could apply to any thing with that annoying label) ….

But wait, there’s more…

Expect to spend an hour in assembly, followed by repeated attempts to download the mediocre, heavily flawed, untested, glitchy, app…

After the app won’t download, you spend an hour on the phone with someone with a fake name asking you to be patient while they read a script and have no ability to relate on a human level…. much less a cat level.

After many painful hours of assembly and app syncing, banging your head against the wall, and trying to coerce your cats into the digital spy- potty-for-dummies, the cat finally does their business.

You wait to see what happens.

Immediately the cat has deep regrets and thinks, “where am I, have I been abducted, what is this plastic prison?”

The robotic container rotates, turns, swishes, beeps, bops, and like magic, the poop seems to have disappeared.

Yeah, no, it didn’t disappear.

It stuck to the underside upside down.

It snuck in all the crevices that eventually will cause the machine to break long before its supposed lifespan.

It piled up in a drawer and attracted flies because the poop just relocated, it didn’t really go anywhere.

And you can tell yourself you are saving time and money long-term because you can “forget” about the litterbox for a while…. but you are lying to yourself.

Because, when you can’t ignore that drawer anymore, you know it’s going to take a lot longer to sort, organize, re-set, re-boot, and re-calibrate the whole system to keep your cat happy and peeing inside the lines….or else…beep, beep, beep, robot border control has breeched the litter-bot-box and disaster has struck.

Like many things in our modern world, the lie of technology is that it makes life easier, saving you time and money.

But deep down, everyone knows, it doesn’t.

If you’ve ever had to buy a new appliance, you know that all these modern bells and whistles are shit….and meant to break to keep you always needing to buy a new one…. from phones to computers.

Everything requires an app, which takes more time to deal with, more issues, more digital garbage and headaches in an onslaught of notifications, data breeches, and updates.

I don’t need a reminder that my cat peed, we don’t do participation trophy treats.
I don’t need to be “notified” to clean the litter box….if i do, I shouldn’t have a cat.
I don’t need a video of my cat pooping at 2 am under flashing lights going off down the hallway, this isn’t a disco.

Think how the cats must feel…probably pretty perplexed?

These days, if you’re on a website trying to find help for all of the tech issues, you get stuck with a bot pretending it’s not a bot, yet unable to resolve any issues.

All this “easy” button cool “tech” is nothing but a pain in the ass at the end of the day.

All of it can be avoided by just doing things the old-fashioned way with a little bit of consistency and daily commitment.

Like the time it takes to clean a regular old, no bells and whistles, litter box….30 seconds to scoop the clumps and move on with your day.

Because we don’t need another app.

We don’t need a robot litter box.

We don’t need a robot anything.

Everything that is wrong with society can be explained by these dang robotic inventions that promise you sweet little stinky lies.

All these gadgets are no different than the old school infomercials, except much more expensive.

Now go scoop the litter box, it will only take a minute.

Save yourself the $500 for the fancy one.

Cats know shit.

Humans, on the other hand, don’t.

Why do we keep getting bamboozled with shiny object syndrome?

Why can’t humanity see that anything labeled SMART is DUMB?

Why can’t we realize the easy button is taking the longest distance to get somewhere?

All this smart gadget robot track everything crap is digital clutter piling up in some weird form of cloud-hoarding. The fuller our phones get, ironically, the more storms we seem to have. Shit has hit the fan and no robot is going to clean it up. The more we charge up these devices, the more humanity becomes drained. These are not coincidences.

Somewhere in this madness, harmony is waiting patiently on humans to stop pretending bullshit smells like roses….discern the scents…and sense. Ha-Ha!

😉

Angela