Don’t Stop Being a Perfectionist
There is Beauty in Perfectionism
The other day I saw this spiderweb outside my door. It’s close to perfect. I have no doubt before the wind, other creatures, and elements took force upon it that every part of it was mathematical perfection. The spider weaved through the night on a mission, always perfectly in tune with nature’s geometric makeup. It’s amazing how precise their webs can be. As she innately creates with the light of the Creator, she makes beauty and perfection knowing that flaws and imperfections are a natural part of the finished result, yet it does not halt the effort in striving to make it as perfect as possible. The more perfect the web, not only is it more beautiful, but more useful, more in harmony with nature, more able to carry out its purpose.
There is a time to let things be and a time to put your all into things.
As a perfectionists in some ways who can’t just let things be, I began to see through the projected guilt and façade of perfectionists being portrayed as negative.
The new “new age” circles want you to just go with the flow. The law of attraction wants you to imagine you have things while not really having those things. The coaches that tell you not to work for anything that everything should be easy are steering you down the wrong path.
The status quo blames burn out for perfectionism, but that’s a lie. Burn out happens when you are no longer aligned with what you are doing, when there is no support, when you’re not doing what you know you should be doing, or just working where your energy is “taken” and your hours drained with no appreciation.
Because, the truth is, perfectionism is a signifier of heart and soul.
What no one talks about is that perfectionism is often accompanied by flow. They are not opposites.
When you pour everything into making something perfect (as perfect as it can be), you are showing care. You are giving life to it. You are creating a work of art.
Have you ever gone to pick out a card for someone you care about? You stand there reading everyone until you find the perfect one that you know will speak to the recipient and relay the message you want to give. Everything in life can be summed up in this example because we take time, extend effort and infuse care to that which matters to us.
Maybe it’s an actual piece of art, song, a recipe, or choosing the perfect outfit, or tweaking a presentation 100 times. Maybe it’s learning something new until your hands bleed or you’re so tired you can’t move another muscle. Maybe it’s finishing what you started, dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s. Maybe it’s going for one more minute, one more mile, one more month.
Inside the striving and creating there is an innate desire to elevate, to make things better, to bring more beauty to this world.
When true inspiration strikes, you are not “working too hard” or “being a perfectionist,” you’re going in the right direction. You’re making yourself and the world better. You’re turning from all the distractions. You’re making a choice, a deep commitment, to infuse spirit, fire, humanness into your works. You’re saying, “I care.”
The world negates perfectionism because most people do the bare minimum and are happy in a mediocre existence being told what to do by others. But people who are perfectionist by nature, are fueled by an inner spark that just wants to leave things better or become better themselves….to make the experience of being here elevated….to have higher standards….to push themselves to the edge….to stretch their capacity for what is possible….to open the doors of expanded awareness and potential.
I believe everyone has this, it’s just not always evident.
The best flow lives INSIDE of discipline. It’s when you don’t eat all day because you are engrossed in what you are doing, time stands still, focus is so great that nothing can distract you from your mission.
Perfectionism is put down because the one doing the chastising would never put in that much effort, pay attention to that level of detail, or take that level of risk.
These critics will say you can never be perfect so why reach for it? They will tell you that you waste time on every little detail…that perfectionism is a disorder, an unattainable reaching.
The truth is, you won’t ever reach it…. BUT you’ll get SO much closer than by never trying. Your quality of life will be better because you emitted care and energy towards making something better, ever how big or small….and this makes the world more beautiful and when there is more beauty there is more inspiration, joy, awe, and freedom.
From cleaning your house to picking out the perfect gift or card, from creating art or striving for a difficult goal, perfectionism lives inside the desire to see what you are made of, not to achieve, but to be fully alive…not to grow, but to create…not for others, but for something greater.
This is why you want to go onto the next thing after completion, because you feel energized. What we give energy to that comes from this place of perfectionism, from heart and soul, feeds us more energy to create more, not the other way around. That which takes our energy is a signal we’re going in the wrong direction, that which fuels, signals the path is clear.
It’s like taking a long hike and coming back with more energy even though you expended a lot just to make the trek. We give our bodies movement, we gain energy. We give what we’re doing focus, we gain clarity.
When you look at something created by someone striving to make it as “perfect” as possible compared to something thrown together, there’s a different kind of feeling, the experience is more meaningful and memorable.
Striving for perfection isn’t about making things perfect, it’s about making life beautiful. It’s creating order inside chaos or making chaos transform into something else entirely.
So, if you are a perfectionist in some area of your life, embrace it. We need higher standards in this world and a lot more authentic beauty.
Nothing can actually be perfect, but the more we pour ourselves into life, the more it pours back.
In a world of fractured attention spans, perfectionist tendencies suddenly seem profoundly refreshing.
Striving to make something more perfect is not about control (though it can be), it’s about finding harmony and wanting to see something at its greatest potential. It’s about pushing ourselves to expand beyond what we thought we could do. It’s connecting with the imperfectness of being, not by pretending it’s not there, but by stepping fully into it. It’s allowing something greater than you to move through you and having no choice but to lose control and let it animate you into creating the thing, whatever it is, however small…. however large….it must be done, and you can’t stop until it is.
A seamstress who leaves one thread undone makes space for unraveling her creation.
And sometimes things need to be unraveled.
Until then, what pulls you towards it? What lights you up so much that you don’t want to pick up the phone? What calls you into focus, excitement, commitment, engagement?
I think the most perfect things, even lazy days, are so because it is our commitment to what we’re doing that makes it great.
As the emanation of nature is perfect in its design, so too is it natural for humans to want to extend this towards our own life and creations through the light of the Creator moving through us.
Putting more effort and care into what we do brings more value, thus elevating something by using our energy to direct greater focus manifesting in an outcome that is closer to a perfected state than if we had not done so. Like the spiderweb, the imperfections that will naturally be infused through restrictions of time, resources and outer influence lend a hand to its wholeness as it is the striving for perfection balanced with the inevitable imperfections that will come forth where balance and completion collide…and combine.
The next time someone calls you a perfectionist in a negative way, just say thank you and keep focused on your mission!
As we strive to perfect ourselves and our works as much as we can, day by day, little by little, we elevate ourselves, our consciousness, and our existence…we share in appreciating and creating a more beautiful world.
~ Angela